Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 88580 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 354(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88580 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 443(@200wpm)___ 354(@250wpm)___ 295(@300wpm)
“Why?” I ask, and it’s like that one word defines my relationship with this man.
He lets out a pained, heavy sigh. “A lot was happening in my life back then. My relationship with Tony was dissolving. I was consolidating my power and making sure I had absolute control over the family. I knew that if I let myself get involved with you, I’d either end up hurting you, or I’d end up fucking something else up. I couldn’t risk it either way.”
“So you stalked me instead?”
“I wouldn’t call it stalking.”
“What would you call it then?”
“I saw myself as your benefactor.”
I try not to laugh. “Like from a Dickenson novel or whatever?”
“Exactly like that. I was helping you from a distance. A silent partner in your life.”
“It would’ve been nice knowing I had you on my side. Do you have any clue how much I’ve stressed about money over the years?”
“I’m sorry,” he says and sounds like he means it. “I debated telling you a thousand times, but decided that you were better off not knowing.”
I twist, turning to face him. His cheek is covered in stubble when I brush the backs of my fingers along his face.
Emotions swirl through me. Fear of this powerful man watching me for the last seven years. Confusion over why he didn’t tell me sooner. But also, something else—
A strange excitement in my core.
And gratitude.
“Thank you,” I say.
He seems surprised. “Why?”
“For saving my life. Thank you. I’ve been wanting to say that to you for a long time. Well, not you, but the person who saved me, and I guess that is you and—” I curse, shaking my head. “This is confusing.”
“I don’t want gratitude.” His face twists as he says it. “Please, that’s the last thing I want.”
“But you deserve it, don’t you? I’d be dead if you hadn’t found me.” A million questions storm through my mind. There’s so much I want to know. That night’s a total blur to me still—all I remember is leaving work, going out for a run, then lying on the ground on my back, listening to my savior whisper in my ear—no, listening to Adler.
“I only did what was right.”
“But how did you find me? And what happened? I still don’t know, and I’ve been wondering for so long, and you can tell me, can’t you?”
“Casey—”
“Like what was I doing? I remember going for a run, and I think I must’ve been crossing the road, and it was really dark out, but how did that car hit me? The doctors said I might remember one day, but I still haven’t and I doubt I ever will. But you know, don’t you?”
“Casey.”
I stare at him, blinking back tears. “All this time, I’ve been trying to find you.”
He pulls me against him, hugging tight. I sink into his embrace, fighting back the tears, but I can’t stop them from flowing again.
But this time, I’m not crying from fear. I’m not crying from sadness.
I’m crying because he’s here. He’s really here.
The voice in my head.
Adler’s voice.
When I’m scared, when I can’t sleep, that’s the voice I hear saying those words, comforting me in my darkest hour. When I hate people, when I’m sure everyone’s the absolute worst, I remember that voice. I remember what he did for me.
That voice keeps me going.
And it’s him, it’s Adler.
My husband.
I pull back to study his face. He looks profoundly sad, though I don’t know why. All of a sudden, the last few nights rush into me, all the desire, all the pain and the pleasure. “I gave my virginity to you.”
He grimaces. “I know. I should have said something sooner. It’s just—”
“No,” I say and kiss him gently. “No, I’m so happy it was you. I’m happy you’re him. I’m just—I can’t believe it’s you.”
I kiss him again, and again, and soon the kiss turns into something more. I push him onto his back, take off my shirt, and his hands are on my body, exploring, teasing. He sits up, kisses my neck, licks my nipples. My back arches, and I need this, I need it more than I’ve ever needed in my life.
It’s him, the voice, my angel, my savior.
My Adler, my husband, it’s him. He saved my life, not once, but over and over again. I don’t know why, maybe he felt some sort of responsibility for me after that night, or maybe he saw something in me, it doesn’t matter.
I have him now.
We undress together. I explore his body, kissing him, lavishing him with my attention. He’s so hard it makes me dizzy as I shimmy my way down to take him into my mouth. His groans drive me wild as I lick him, sucking him slowly, not really sure what I’m doing but not really caring, but it’s him, and he feels good, and that’s all I need.