Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 109096 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109096 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
I nod slowly, not wanting to tell her more. But she doesn't ask. Instead, she comes closer and offers me her hand.
"Hello," she says, holding her little dirty palm up. "My name is Willa. I'm very sad sometimes."
She reverts to a younger role like this. I cock my head to the side and shake her hand. "Hi, Willa. I'm Dove. I'm here to tell you what happened to Nox and that I want to help you while he's away."
She nods thoughtfully. "Why did he have to go away again?"
"Nox did something bad," I admit. "He wanted to make amends."
"Okay," she nods. "Will he be back?"
I swallow the pain in my throat. "I hope so. But neither of us knows when."
"Can we go to your house now?" Willa licks her lips. "I really need to pee."
I call an Uber and we get in without talking, but with Willa's little hand still in mine.
She stares out of the window at her old neighborhood and I don't ask any questions until we arrive home. There, I take her hand again and I walk her to my house.
"I have lots of plants," I smile nervously. "It's kind of my thing."
"I like plants," Willa says as she enters the house.
In front of us, I see a semi-messy home of an eternally single plant mom. I wonder what it looks like through Willa's eyes.
"Do you like it?" I ask nervously. "I have a guest room... you can sleep there, if you'd like. And you can help me plant and water and take care of the plants."
"Stay here with you?" She looks at me with pained eyes. "Why?"
"Because Nox wanted that," I whisper. "And I think I might need you... more than you need me."
"I'll stay," she nods. "I'll help."
I smile at the idea of a seven-year-old helping, but there are tears in my eyes and somehow, I believe her.
Willa's going to help me get through this.
Chapter 44
Nox
Ironically, the first time I get my ass kicked in prison is because of Dove.
There's a man who used to know a man who used to know a man named Sam, and the rest is history. They know all about the prick who ruined Dove's life, and now they've worked it out I killed her brother, too. They don't know the good sides of our story. All they know is the bullshit I've put my woman through.
So I tell myself I deserve this. When one of the inmates spears me with a shiv, I grit my teeth and suffer through it. I don't fight back, but I still get in trouble. That's my first lesson about prison, and I learn it hard and fast.
I don't call Dove. I promised I would, but I know it would cause more trouble than it's worth. She needs to move on. I made her swear to me she'd find Willa, and I hope she's doing that and making sure the little girl is okay.
But it's all just a way to keep Dove on my mind. Dove, with her pale skin that bruises so easily. Dove, with her blue veins, pink nipples, dark heart. She's mine. Will she wait for me? She shouldn't.
Those thoughts get harder and harder to banish as the days slowly trickle by. I've been locked up a week, with no way out for the foreseeable future. When I was in Brentwood's office, the death penalty came up. I found myself rendered speechless. My worst fears were coming to life. But I haven't spoken to Brentwood in a while. I've been assigned a state-appointed attorney who's spent more time looking for his glasses than he has questioning me about my case.
Because I brought the hoodie with me to the precinct and I gave them a confession, I'm going down for manslaughter.
Those first few weeks in prison are the worst because I'm not used to my new reality. Tossing and turning on a metal bunk bed. Taking a piss in front of my cellmate. Getting beaten, threatened, and constantly terrorized by the guards are just a few of the things I have to suffer.
But this is who I am now. A common criminal.
I set up my finances with Hodge before I got in here. All the money I make while I'm in prison is going into a trust fund for Dove, and one for Willa, too. At least I'll know they're taken care of if something happens to me in here. There are no guarantees in here, no way of knowing whether I'll get out alive or not. This is my life now.
I make friends, too. Men who are like me and gave in to the darkness at one point or another, like I did, soon realizing it wasn't for the best. This is a place where you repent. I'm alone with my thoughts for most of the day. My mind has always frightened me, but now there's no way to escape it. So, I think about them all, the people who shaped my life.