Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 113056 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113056 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 565(@200wpm)___ 452(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
I’d gotten married and had the kids young, but I’d had babies while going to cooking school. I was a trained chef and I needed the distraction of something outside my father’s house and my pain. The restaurant was just the ticket.
Being at home all day long felt a bit smothering at times. Sarah meant well but she was always in my business and up in my space. And then things had gone weird with Lisa since the ‘big reveal’, so cooking in a busy kitchen allowed me to focus on something other than the thoughts twisting and turning in my brain and my broken heart.
I was still learning how to be a single mother, still healing from losing my father and my husband. Still helping my sons cope with life without their daddy. And now I was also reeling from the latest…the bombshell Lisa dropped on me and my sister.
My relationship with my best friend was a lie. My father was worse than we thought and believe me, we already thought he was going to have a heckuva time getting past the pearly gates.
We knew more than we were given credit for, but Lisa rocked our already precarious world in a bad way with the truth about her relationship with Tom Ferrano, Sr.
Normally, Luciana and I would put our heads together and pick things apart for hours or even days after a drama, big or little.
However, the day Lisa told us, tears in her eyes, who she really was and how she’d really met our father, why she was enrolled in culinary school with me? We then listened to our new sister-in-law, Angel, tell us how she met Dare and what her story was, how she and Lisa had come from the same awful place.
The way our new sister-in-law was when we first met her? Timid and jittery? Lisa wasn’t like that at all. But I guess it made sense how Angel’s sudden appearance meant some sort of delayed reaction with Lisa. We first thought Pop’s death was hitting her late. There was Tommy’s wedding and all that we’d been through. Getting home and then having nothing going on gave us all too much time to reflect.
We knew the miscarriage had devastated her, beyond measure. But now, in hindsight, I could see that Angel’s appearance was the start of Lisa unraveling.
Lisa gave us a bunch more facts and then said that her counselor had helped, that Dare and Tommy arranged for her to go to a retreat and that put her on the road to healing. She said she knew she had a long road ahead but invited us to ask questions if we had any. She also said she never thought poorly of our father, that he rescued her and had treated her like absolute gold.
After a long and awkward silence, after her tale was told, after Angel spoke, she asked again,
“Do you want to ask me anything?”
I shrugged. Luc started to cry. Tia hugged Luc. Lisa started to cry. Angel hugged Lisa. I just sat there, numb. Not hugging anyone, not wanting to be hugged. Not crying. Lisa reached for me, but I gave her the hand and said, “I need a minute.”
My eyes were the only dry ones at the table. I’d already spent so much time crying in the previous few months that I guess tears were in short supply.
We wrapped the lunch up then. Eddy packed our food to-go because we’d barely touched our meals what with the drama being spilled after appetizers, Lisa telling us, through tears, how much we meant to her, telling us how much it meant being welcomed into our family. Spelling out how sorry she was that she wasn’t able to tell us the truth before then, how keeping that secret was so ingrained that it took everything to even say it aloud.
I just kept nodding, I think. But I was feeling like I was about to have an anxiety attack, so I needed air. I think I kept saying I just needed air and finally got up to go get some.
As I was putting my coat on, she told us that she’d understand if we didn’t want anything to do with her from now on. She also said that there were things we didn’t know, security-related issues, that meant that she had to play the part for a while, that we had to keep it secret or all of our lives would be in danger.
“As soon as it’s safe for me to go, if you want me gone, I’ll go. I don’t want to go. You guys are my family. But I will if you want me to.”
Luc and I stared, in shock. What we didn’t do was tell her whether we wanted her to go or stay.
“I just need some air,” was what I’d said and I’d gone outside. My brother Dare stopped me from getting in my car. He’d just shown to pick up Angel and took me and my sister in his SUV instead, saying he’d have someone bring my car home later. He went in to get Angel and Luc and I sat there. I didn’t say bye. I was too… I don’t know.