Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 101796 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101796 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
“But won’t you be bored?”
“If you don’t stop trying to come up with reasons why we shouldn’t do this, I’m going to make you go swimming again—and in the deep end, this time.” She watches, smirking, as I crack my knuckles. “What’s it gonna be?”
“Okay, fine. Let’s go, I guess.” She still looks totally miserable. Maybe she’ll feel better once she gets started trying things on. There’s really nothing wrong with her body—not even close. She’s just afraid. And she’s probably carrying a shit ton of negativity from Irene.
I hope you’re having fun in Thailand, gold digger. Your daughter is here suffering in the meantime.
I have to force myself to stop thinking about her as we finish eating cereal. If I’m in a shit mood, the morning is ruined. “Let’s go out now,” I decide once the bowls are in the dishwasher. “This way, there won’t be so many people around the stores.”
“Stores? Plural?” The girl looks like she’s ready to drop dead from fright, but she follows me out of the kitchen, dragging her feet. Just in case I forgot for even a second she’s not looking forward to this. Sometimes being nice and taking interest in a person’s life isn’t worth the frustration.
But once I open the front door, it’s obvious we’re making the right choice. The heat hits me in the face and tries to suck the air out of my lungs.
“Damn,” she murmurs. “All right, maybe it’s better for me to find some new clothes.”
Oh, you think? Maybe I’m finally growing up or learning self-control, since I keep that thought inside. With the air conditioner running at full blast, we pull out from the driveway, and I steer us toward the mall.
“All I’m saying is, don’t expect miracles.” She is so determined for this not to work. Glancing over, I find her staring out the window. “I don’t look good in a lot of things. My body is all wrong.”
Fuck you, Irene.
“Who made you think that? Because I’ve seen your body plenty of times, and it looks good to me.” Good enough that I would like to see her in clothes that show her off a little more.
“Who do you think?” She blurts out a sad, empty laugh. “Then she buys me short dresses that barely cover my ass. Like, make up your mind, woman.”
“She’s not here now. She’s on the other side of the world, and I like your body. A lot.” Just thinking about it makes me reach over to close a hand around her knee and give it a squeeze.
I was right about coming out at this time of day. The parking lot is practically empty. Some of it might have to do with fewer people shopping in actual stores anymore, but I’m not in the mood to think about economic collapse or whatever it is. Not when there’s work to do. “I know from personal experience there’s a lot of room on this card—and Dad would be happy to buy you whatever you want. So go as crazy as you want to go.”
“I don’t want to go crazy at all.” She can say that all she wants, but the way she looks at the dresses on some of the mannequins in a store window tells a different story. She has told herself for so long that she can’t be a certain way or want certain things that she’s actually started to believe it. I see what’s underneath all of that. The person who wants to come out but is still too scared.
“That would look good on you.” I have to keep it casual—I don’t want her to know I was paying attention. It’s like I’m hunting, and I can’t scare her away. I have to take my time, choose my words carefully. I almost can’t believe I’m going to all this trouble.
“You think so?” If she chews her lip much harder, she’ll bite through it.
“Why don’t you go try it on?” I even give her a slight shove toward the open doors to the store. “If you don’t like it, fine, but you can try.”
“What if it’s a waste of time?”
“So what?”
“What if I don’t like it?”
“I’m sure I’ll live through the disappointment.”
“But it’ll be a waste of your time.”
I’m going to scream. Good thing there aren’t many people around to hear me. “For fuck’s sake, Elliana. It’s my time. I decide if it’s wasted. Try the damn dress on, or I’m going to buy it for you in the first size I see, and you’ll have to wear it whether you want to or not.”
“Fine, fine,” she grumbles, finally going into the store just when I’m sure I’m going to strangle her. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Isn’t she supposed to be dragging me from store to store?