Total pages in book: 166
Estimated words: 157273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
“I know.” I watched Sadie scramble for the ball and wished it was that easy to be happy. “How is Matthias?”
A smile spread across her face. “Still the perfect boyfriend. Still spends a little too much time at the hospital, but that’s to be expected for surgical residency. And don’t go changing the subject. My life isn’t the train wreck. How’s your mother?”
Sadie raced back, jumping over a patio lounge chair. “Mean. Rachel said your mom was up to see her a couple of weeks ago.” Eloise was the only other name Mom authorized on campus. They’d danced together for over a decade. “She doing all right?”
“She says she is.” Kenna sighed. “Throws herself into all the board nonsense for the Company. I think she’s both compensating for your mom’s absence and keeping herself busy to avoid the reality of the situation that her best friend isn’t coming back to New York.”
“And yet you’re not a shrink.” Sadie dropped the ball at my feet, her tongue lolling to the side as she panted. “I’m really sorry I didn’t call you back.”
“I know you are. Doesn’t excuse it, but it’s not like I didn’t disappear on you a few times too.”
“While you were in residency. Not the same.” There were friends who could tell if you were having a bad day. Kenna and I knew if the other was in a bad year. “One last time,” I told Sadie, then threw the ball as hard as I could. “You going to ask me about the ankle?”
“Not unless you want to talk about it.” Kenna looked my way. “I’m not here as the Company’s doctor. I’m here as your friend. Paperwork says I’m on three days of personal leave. No one knows I’m here except Matthias.”
Wrapping my arms around my waist, I looked from Sadie to the vast expanse of ocean beyond the cliff. The ocean wouldn’t care if I danced or retired, if I kissed Hudson or walked away. The waves would come regardless of my relationship with Juniper, and they would keep coming long after we were only memories. In a way, my insignificance was comforting enough that I could finally speak the truth.
“I keep saying I’ll be fine, but I don’t know if I’ll make it back from this.” I whispered the confession, letting it past my lips for the first time. Giving it voice . . . giving it power. “I just know that I can’t recover in the building while every soloist watches, and either consciously or subconsciously hopes I won’t.”
“Understandable.” She glanced around the backyard. “Not sure hiding out here is going to help. I don’t care what kind of equipment you have in there, it’s no substitute for me.”
“That, I know.” I took the ball from Sadie and rubbed her head.
“Do you want my help?” Kenna offered.
A burst of hope flared in my chest, but quickly dimmed. “I can’t rehab in New York, and there’s no way Vasily would let you come out here to work with me alone. You’re too important to the Company.”
“That’s not an answer. And you’d be amazed at what Vasily would do for you. He still has your Equinox ballet on the short list for fall, and you’re not even back yet.” She crouched down to pet Sadie, covering her perfectly tailored slacks in dog hair.
“I’d be grateful if you’d check me out while you’re here.” There, I’d asked for help.
“Then that’s what we’ll do.” She stood, then rose on her toes and peered out over the backyard to the beach below.
“What are you looking for?” I joined her.
“Just looking to see if there’s a middle-aged white man wandering the beach, looking for redemption and a bottle of old love letters.”
I snorted.
“Don’t you scoff at me, Alessandra. I drove through the town. You and I both know the second Thanksgiving hits around here, there’s a surplus of Christmas tree farmers just waiting to snatch some Manhattan girl’s soul and teach her the true meaning of the holidays.” She shivered in repulsion.
We turned to walk back toward the house and found Anne coming out of the back door, holding yet another sample centerpiece. She startled, then smiled. “Kenna! I didn’t know you were coming!”
Kenna brandished a smile I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. “How’s it going, enabler?”
“I’m going to change the setting, and let’s see how you do,” Kenna said two days later as I lay horizontal on the jumpboard in our gym. Up until now, I’d had it at less than my body weight.
“Sounds like absolute torture. Let’s do it.” My hands fisted at my sides and I braced my feet against the platform.
“I’d rather you struggle here than fall.” Kenna popped back up from beside the machine. “And from what I’ve seen, you’re ready.” She moved to the end of the board, then leaned over slightly, her gaze focused on my feet. “Bend the knees into plié.”