Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 91560 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91560 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Clark’s beaming smile makes me gag, but of course, he ignores my revulsion. “I bet when you woke up this morning, you didn’t know it was your wedding day,” he says, sounding gleeful, like there’s anything normal about any of this.
All I can do is hope Tucker figures out where I am, because otherwise, I’m not sure I can survive it.
27
TUCKER
It’s amazing how even the most basic, mundane things look better and brighter now that I know Maya will be waiting for me after class. I’ll take her home and I’ll hear her laughing with Mom in the kitchen, and everything will be all right in my world, at least for a little while. There won’t be any anger. There won’t be anything for me to do but live. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I can just live without the memories of my humiliation coming back to haunt me.
I don’t even like thinking about it now, but it is something I need to remember, no matter how I would rather forget. I’m still not completely sure Maya is into me because of me, myself, though every day we spend together brings us a little closer and makes me a little more hopeful. Hope. Since when do I hope?
Since when do I whistle to myself as I head out to the parking lot, for that matter? Since when do I do anything I’ve done lately? Eating lunch with her outside—the stupidest, simplest pleasure.
But the deeper pleasure is knowing how happy she is now. She might not want to accept it. She might be afraid to, which is something I can definitely understand. But every day that passes while she’s still safe and protected is a day she’s just a little happier. A little more secure. That’s all I want, for her to feel taken care of, to know she is not on her own anymore.
It seems like I’m slowly getting through a little at a time, but that only makes me want more. I’m greedy for her happiness, as fucked up as that is. I want to soak it up like a sponge. She is that important to me now. Mine to protect, mine to shelter. It’s almost like I finally figured out what I’m supposed to do with my life, and I’m not sure how to feel.
I sort of like the idea. The thing is, I think she does, too, even if she is afraid to admit it to herself yet.
“Hey! What’s the matter, the building catch fire?” I turn when I hear Briggs laughing behind me as he jogs to catch up. “What’s your hurry?” He laughs, as if he doesn’t have a clue.
I would probably resent the hell out of his laughter if I didn’t know he can understand how I feel. Now I know how Wren changed his life, because I’m going through the same thing with Maya. Shit, I used to think was so important not that long ago has ceased to matter. I can’t remember why it ever did.
“I don’t want to keep her waiting,” I explain, since class ran a few minutes late.
He falls in step beside me, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure she’ll be fine on her own for a minute. Jesus, thought I was protective.”
He doesn’t have as much of a reason to be protective, at least not anymore. His dad is still on the run somewhere, but there was a time when Wren feared for her life thanks to him.
Briggs must notice my scowl and see it for what it is, since he whines a little. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make a joke out of it.”
“It’s cool.” Glancing around, I ask, “Speaking of protective, where’s Wren? Aren’t you two attached at the hip most of the time?”
“You’re so fucking funny.” Scoffing, he explains, “She had to grab a book at the library that somebody else just returned, but she’ll catch up to me. You headed home?”
My head bobs while my eyes scan the parking lot. “Straight home.”
Elbowing me, he says, “You guys should come over tonight. We’ll order pizza or something.”
It’s a nice offer, and there was a time I would have gladly accepted. That was a time before I had something better to go home to. Not that I wouldn’t enjoy a night hanging out with Briggs, but the idea of spending time with him when I could spend it with Maya elsewhere makes me feel uncomfortable, like my skin is too tight or something. Unsettling, for sure, but I can’t ignore it.
And from the way he snickers, I think he understands. “Oh, fine,” he grumbles with a laugh before I can come up with an excuse. “Keep her all to yourself. But don’t come crying to me when Wren bitches you out for keeping her best friend away from her.”