Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 100716 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100716 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
“I know you’re hurting so you’re lashing out.” He tsks me, so I talk faster. “Riley will understand, Ark. She—”
“Hates me. The only part of my sister I have left fucking hates me.”
I shake my head, but he doesn’t see it.
“And I deserve it. I hid her away because all I saw when I looked at her was him. I made her self-respect nonexistent.” Shame and hurt fill his eyes. “I was the only male role model she had, and I fucked it up because I was more concerned about hiding my secrets than wondering what hers were.”
His anger firms so fast that he cracks his glass.
“Don’t,” he shouts when I instinctively respond to the droplet of blood rolling down his palm. “You can’t fix this.” My heart breaks when he murmurs, “You can’t fix me. It was stupid of me to ever believe you could.”
“I don’t want to fix you. I want you to let me in, to be honest with me. I want you to trust me and the process you need to face to move past this.”
“I tried!” he yells so loud that any residents sleeping no longer are. “I fucking tried and look where it got me. You’re scared of me.”
“No, I’m n-not.”
His voice is calm although he is anything but. “Then why did you stutter? Just now, why did you stutter?”
“Because… Because…” My heart knows the words I want to yell—because you’re not meant to fall in love on sight—but my mouth refuses to speak them.
Instead, I try to put the focus back on the cause of his mini meltdown. “I shouldn’t have pushed so hard. I’m sorry if it was too much too fast, but you need to remember that it’s okay to fall. As long as you get back up, falling is an option.”
“What if it isn’t? What if there is no possibility you can get back up?”
“You can get back up, Ark. You just have to fight.”
I fall into his trap, and I have no clue how to get out of it when he commences kicking in the dirt he dug out to ensure I fall. “What if I don’t want to fight anymore? What happens then? What if you’ve realized what you thought was worth fighting for isn’t actually worth anything?”
I pushed because I thought unshackling him from his demons would help him.
Instead, I pushed him away.
“I promised to tell you when it became too much.” My heart breaks when he looks straight into my eyes and says, “It’s too much.” There’s no one he hates more than himself right now, but he hides it well with another guzzle of whiskey. “I can’t do this, Mara. I can’t put you through this.” He bangs his chest during his last word.
My heart is frozen from the desolate look he hits me with, but it does little to weaken the pleas I toss his way when he flicks his bloodshot eyes to the side of the room and says, “Take her home, Raf.”
Rafael emerges from his hiding spot, his angst as palpable as mine. “I’m not sure you should be alone right now, Ark.”
“Take. Her. Home!” Ark repeats, his words as violent as the hate that roars from him when he says, “Or I’ll void the agreement we made today without a single iota of remorse.”
His confidence of his threat is undeniable when he enters the bathroom without so much as a backward glance, and he slams the door behind him.
“I wouldn’t,” Rafael cautions when I attempt to follow him.
“We can’t leave him like this. He’s…” Upset. Hurt. Breaking my goddamn heart.
Rafael sighs like he heard my private thoughts before he curls his arm around my shoulders and guides me through the servants’ entrance. “He’ll be all right. He just needs a couple of minutes to calm down.”
39
MARA
Rafael lied.
Things didn’t calm down. They got worse. And they continue getting worse.
“I’m so sorry, Mara. I wish I had more to offer you.”
I smile to assure Val I know she had my back before I hand her the keys she requested I return this morning.
Although I officially resigned from my position with Chrysler Holdings two weeks ago, I was removed from the cleaning roster only this morning.
Val went to bat for me. She reminded Mrs. Whitten that I am in favor to Maksim Ivanov, and that he wouldn’t take kindly to the removal of my position at a building he predominately owns.
Her underhanded threat saw Mrs. Whitten offering me a cleaning roster consisting of the toilets in the staff locker room, the service elevator, a small handful of offices on the lower floor, and any silverware Val’s full-time team can’t keep up with.
The hours won’t be close to what they once were, but since I can’t stomach the idea of spending Ark’s money, I’m considering accepting them.