Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 343(@300wpm)
Chapter 47
* * *
Bennett
I sat at my desk for hours, going through all the emotions.
Pissed.
How could she fucking do that to me…to us? Didn’t she know how I felt about her?
No. She doesn’t.
Why? Because I was too much of a pussy to tell her.
Denial.
There was probably a perfectly logical explanation for this. Maybe she’d met with Andrew for a business meeting—something related to Pet Supplies & More. Maybe Lauren had pulled her brother into the loop and wanted Annalise to show her presentation to him this morning.
Yeah. That was probably it.
Except she’d been in bed when he answered her fucking phone.
In his fucking bed.
Not mine, where she should’ve been.
Why? Because I was too much of a pussy to admit I was afraid to give things between us a real shot. She’d been brave enough to ask me the goddamn question. Yet I’d taken the cowardly way out.
I kept replaying the conversation we’d had the other night
“If things were different between us, would we be here a year from now?”
And my bullshit response. “No. Because I like being single. I like my freedom and not having to answer to anyone or have any responsibilities.”
Well, you got what you asked for, dickhead.
Bargaining.
If I could just talk to her, I could fix it. I knew she had feelings for me; I could see it in her eyes—the way it hurt her when I told her we wouldn’t be together a year from now, even if things were different at work.
I’d been trying to convince myself I liked my freedom, when all along I never wanted to let go of her.
Because I was afraid.
Fucking pussy.
I needed to talk to her—go over to that douchebag’s apartment and kick his ass, if that’s what it took to see her. She’d give me a chance. What we had was real.
Wasn’t it?
How the fuck would I know? I’d never had anything real in my life except the way she made me feel.
We could separate by a thousand miles—one of us in Texas and the other here—but it wouldn’t matter. Because physical distance wouldn’t change what was in my heart.
In my heart.
Fuck.
My head fell back against my chair, and I looked up at the ceiling of my office, blowing out a deep breath.
I’m in love with her.
In.
Fucking.
Love.
How the hell did this happen?
I haven’t loved a woman since…
Sophie.
And look what happened the last time I got close to a woman. Sophie didn’t get a chance to feel what it was like to be loved back. Why should I get to?
I didn’t deserve to be loved by a woman like Annalise.
I didn’t deserve Sophie’s love.
I didn’t deserve to have Lucas’s love either.
Yet somehow he gave it to me. And I was selfish enough to take it.
My mind kept jumping all over the place.
Annalise had feelings for me; I knew that somewhere deep in my black heart.
But I hadn’t done a damn thing to show her how I felt.
I needed to tell her, but more than that, I needed to show her.
Her damn ex had said one thing and done another for years. If I had any chance of fighting for her, she needed to see I had more than words.
I just hoped it wasn’t too late.
***
Jonas had been getting ready to leave for the night when I knocked on his door. But he put down his briefcase since I planted my ass in a chair across from him anyway.
He sat, took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes. “What’s going on, Bennett?”
I shook my head. “I fucked up with Annalise.”
Jonas blew out a deep breath. “What did you do?”
“Don’t worry. It’s nothing you might be thinking. I didn’t sabotage her presentation or cheat in anyway. And I didn’t tell her about the decision with our positions.”
He nodded. “Okay. So what happened?”
“You know that no-fraternization policy we have?”
Jonas closed his eyes and frowned. I didn’t need to say more.
“So you won the job, but lost the girl.”
“I got it backward.”
“How are you going to fix it?”
I thought I’d be nervous, but I suddenly felt calm. Slipping the envelope from the inside of my suit jacket, I leaned forward and set it on Jonas’s desk. He glanced down at it and then up at me, smiling sadly.
“I’m guessing this is your resignation?”
I nodded.
“Have you spoken to Annalise?”
“I haven’t been able to reach her.”
“And yet you’re handing me this right now, anyway? What if you lose the job but still can’t get the girl back?”
I stood. “That’s not an option.”
Jonas opened his drawer and took out the envelope containing Annalise’s resignation. He extended it to me. “Top left drawer of her desk. Sitting right on top. I never found this.”
I exchanged my letter for hers. “Thanks, Jonas.”
“Hope you get the girl.”
“You and me both, boss. You and me both.”
***
I’d filled her voicemail. Now every time I called, it just went straight to a message saying the phone number I’d reached could no longer accept messages. I blew out a ragged breath and leaned my forehead against the steering wheel. I’d been sitting in front of her house since four-thirty. It was almost eight now, and there was still no sign of her. I grew more and more anxious by the minute. But eventually she’d have to come home.