Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 116909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 585(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 585(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
Donal’s eyes flitted from Blair to Noelle to Les. “We’ll leave you three to talk in private.” He cut his gaze to Luke. “You can sit with me and Antoine, if you’d like.”
Leave Blair’s side? Not likely. Luke looked at him steadily. “I’m staying with Blair. I doubt anyone has a problem with that.” It was a dare for someone to protest.
“Of course not,” said Les.
“No problem at all,” added Noelle.
Luke gestured for Blair to slide into the booth. It wasn’t until Donal and Antoine walked to a corner table that Luke finally seated himself next to her. His cat eyed her parents carefully, not inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt—or a second chance, for that matter. As the feline saw it, these bush dogs had burned their bridges.
Les gave Blair a trembly smile. “You look good, sweetheart.”
“He’s right, you do,” said Noelle. “Thank you both for agreeing to see us.”
Blair sipped her coffee, barely tasting it while she was wound so tight. Her inner female was rigid, the fur on her back standing on end. “I’m really hoping that neither of you give us a reason to regret it.” As her mate supportively palmed her thigh beneath the table, she rested her hand on his.
“We want only to talk,” said Les. “The fact is, well, you were right in what you once said. Me and your mom … we let you down.”
“More so me than your father,” Noelle admitted.
Les pulled a face. “Your mom might have been more verbal than I, Blair, but we both messed up. We were so sure we knew what was best for you, so convinced you could be as happy with a male you imprinted on as you could be with your true mate, that we didn’t place any real importance in Luke’s presence in your life.”
“There’s nothing we can say that will excuse that, but we can explain it,” said Noelle.
Their voices rang with enough sincerity that Blair’s inner animal lowered her hackles. Blair set down her cup. “I’m listening.”
Long seconds ticked by, and then Les said, “Marianna … she was like a butterfly.” His lips flickered into a small smile. “Beautiful. Gentle. Light. Delicate. You’re just as beautiful inside and out, but far from fragile. You’re strong. Self-reliant. Iron-willed. Impossible to pin down. And that’s scary for parents who’ve lost a child.”
Noelle nodded. “You were with us, but you didn’t need us; you had massive wings to spread, and it was terrifying to think you’d one day fly away; to think that you might be hurt if you did. I wasn’t very good at handling that. Wasn’t very good at parenting period.”
Les frowned at his mate. “Sweetheart—”
“It’s true,” said Noelle, her gaze not moving from Blair. “I know I haven’t been the best mother. I was never very maternal—I’m sure you noticed that. Protective to the core, but never really affectionate. I’m not good at expressing love. In that respect, I’m very much my mother’s daughter,” she added, her tone one of self-depreciation. Noelle glanced down at her hands. “I failed Marianna.”
Blair blinked, taken off-guard by the comment.
“I was so determined to not be as strict as my mother that I let it override my good sense at times,” Noelle went on. “I gave both Marianna and Mitch too much freedom. With her, I shouldn’t have. I knew better. She was never streetwise. I thought that stipulating she never went out alone would be enough, since I knew her pack mates would look out for her. But they weren’t able to save her from her far too soft nature. I should have accounted for that. I didn’t. And now she’s dead.”
Les exhaled a sad sigh as he gazed at his mate.
Noelle fired him an annoyed look. “Yes, I know you feel my guilt is senseless, but I don’t feel that way.”
He flattened his mouth, clearly resisting the urge to argue.
She resettled her gaze on Blair. “You’re a much stronger personality than Marianna. You fought for more space and freedom than she ever did. It was frightening for your father and me at times. I had it in my head that the only way to keep someone such as you safe was to give you firm boundaries. I didn’t allow myself to recognize that it was more of an effort to control and hold you close, just as you accused. I did the same thing to you that my mother did to me, falling back on what I know because my own parenting techniques failed spectacularly.”
Until then, Blair had had no idea that her grandmother behaved that way toward Noelle. The woman had died before Blair was born, and Noelle rarely spoke of her.
Noelle licked her lips. “You were right. I wasn’t thinking of what was best for you. I was too determined not to lose you. Too afraid of what might happen to you if you were out of my sight. Too unwilling to trust that others would keep you safe because I can’t forgive myself for trusting our pack mates to keep Marianna safe,” Noelle added, her voice breaking.