Total pages in book: 149
Estimated words: 135784 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 679(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135784 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 679(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
All of this makes my mesakkah possessiveness flare, and by the time I've got a (deliberately) bad paint job slapped onto The Pleasure Spot, I'm in a foul mood and feeling particularly…jealous. I don't want another male on the receiving end of Sophie's smiles, or hearing her bright laughter. I don't want another male to wake up with Sophie touching him. I think about how she looked last night as she licked the head of my cock, my hand tangled in her hair, and that possessiveness surges to levels I've never experienced before.
Just looking at Bethiah pisses me off. Just thinking about Sophie leaving makes me crazy. I don't know how to combat this. I know she won't stay. I can't force her to—wouldn't force her to. But knowing that she's going to leave and make a life for herself somewhere off this station eats at me. I can't concentrate. I poke at dinner, even though Sophie's made my favorite noodles. My cousin talks all through dinner, dominating the conversation, pretending to be blissfully unaware of my surliness. Sophie notices my silence—because of course she does—and casts me worried looks.
When I accidentally flick the carinoux with my tail, Sleipnir bites my leg. Not hard, just enough to send the message across. My mood's affecting everyone (except Bethiah) and that somehow makes things worse. Even with the limited time I have with Sophie, I'm keffing things up.
I'm relieved when Bethiah heads off to her ship for the night, leaving me alone with Sophie and her pet. She pets the carinoux with affectionate little strokes, speaking in an excessively sweet voice to the thing, who twines around her legs and purrs as if he is indeed the baby she keeps calling him.
And for some keffing stupid reason, I'm jealous of the thing, because I'm not getting all of her attention. Kef me, I'm an idiot. I push back from my stool. "I'm going to take a shower."
Sophie looks up at me, her brows furrowing. "Is everything…okay?"
I nod. "Just a bad mood." Impulsively, I move to her side and press a kiss to the top of her head, because I can practically feel her worry. "It's not you. It's me."
"Do you want me to come bathe you?" she asks in a soft voice.
The carinoux nips at my leg again, his tail lashing against mine. It's a reminder that he needs something to occupy him before I get to spend private time with Sophie. So I shake my head and press another kiss to the top of her head. "Feed your pet. We'll spend time together after."
She reaches out and touches my hand as I walk away, and I swear I feel her touch even after I get into the shower. I flex my hand, gazing down at it in frustration. I've heard jokes about mesakkah possessiveness, but I've never experienced it until this day. It's completely and utterly maddening, and yet…somehow right. Of course I should be utterly possessive of Sophie. Who wouldn't be?
By the time I get out of the shower, I'm still burning with pent-up emotions. I hear Bethiah's voice in my head, calling me a sucker, but more than that, I think of Sophie and her sweet smile, Sophie and the way she clung to my hand when she touched herself. Sophie smiling at me over an early morning meal of noodles. Sophie sticking her tongue out as she works. Her joy in the books.
She's mine.
It's time I tell her how I feel. Get it all out there in the open. Let her know that the thought of her leaving me makes me absolutely insane.
Determined, I wrap a towel around my hips and head into my quarters…only to see Sophie staring thoughtfully at the comm panel. It's turned on, but she's looking at the buttons with dismay, as if she can't quite figure them out.
"What are you doing?" I bark out, my tone rougher than I intended.
She jumps in surprise, turning to look at me, her hand on her chest. "Oh, Jerrok. You scared me."
"What are you doing?" I repeat. There's a dull ache in my chest at the sight of the comm panel lit up. "Who are you trying to contact?"
She bites her lip, then gestures at the communications system. "I wanted to see if there were any messages from the va Sithai. I worry about them. They haven't sent a single communication and I just…" She takes a deep breath. "Sometimes I worry they forgot about me, I guess."
My heart burns with a furious mix of emotion. I'm jealous that she's wanting to hear from them. I'm angry that they haven't even bothered to send her a single message to reassure her. And I'm hurt that she's already wanting to leave me behind. Because that's what she's doing, isn't it? Checking when they're going to pick her up?