Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Comments start coming in so quickly, I barely have a chance to read them.
Is it Finn?
OMG IT’S FINN
DID HE PROPOSE?
HOLY SHIT YOU’RE MOVING IN WITH FINN BARLOW!! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM LIFE?!
That one makes me laugh.
“I’m not confirming,” I say, “OR denying anything.” I wink and laugh as I keep reading comments.
PLS LET IT BE FINN
WHAT DOES TIAGO THINK OF THIS?!
Josslyn Barlow has a nice ring to it!
I smile at that one and respond, “It does, doesn’t it?”
I instantly wish I could take it back. Not because I don’t mean it, but because they’ll definitely think we’re engaged. With so many comments coming in at once, I’m hoping most people will miss what I’m referring to. I tell them I’ll update them again soon and log off. Finn won’t see the video, since I have it set to disappear immediately and he’s playing right now. I’m sure parts of it will be circulating later, but by then, his notifications will probably be inundated with tags on the picture of us I posted on my page. If I hadn’t already told him I loved him, that would have been a declaration in itself.
I thought about doing that, but I don’t like leaving those words unsaid. At first, when he told me nobody had ever said them to him, I thought he meant women he’s been with, which makes sense. But the way his eyes light up and the way he holds me when I tell him I love him make me think he really meant nobody. That breaks my heart. He grew up with everything except the one thing money can’t buy, which is the most important gift of all. I think about Mallory and my mood instantly sours. I click on the text message window with her name on it and read the last texts I sent.
Me: i can’t fucking believe you
Me: i hate you
Me: HATE YOU
Me: you were supposed to be my friend
Me: tate!?!?!?! Really, mallory?!?!!?!? FUCK YOUUUU
It only felt good to get that off my chest for a few minutes, and then I felt like shit, because even though her actions disgust me, her life was taken too soon. As if summoned, my mom’s neighbor sends me a text.
Jack: it took forever but I found something. This is the clearest one I have. There are a LOT. Popular corner, huh? LOL
He attaches the video with the text. If he knew who I was looking for and why, he wouldn’t find it so humorous, but I didn’t give him any information to go on. I take a deep breath and play the video. There’s a bug obstructing the view so I can barely see anything. I do see Mallory walking over there though. My stomach clenches at the sight.
It’s eerie to see her alive and know this was just a few months before it all happened. A few months before she cut me out of her life for calling her mother. I wait and wait, and finally, the bug moves. It’s still kind of hazy because of the rain, so I bring my phone closer to my face, as if that’ll make a difference. My heart stops when I see her outfit—a short white dress with brown sandals.
I remember the exact day she wore that, because Tate and I got into a massive argument after this barbecue. My stomach coils as I watch her walk into the little nook. She waits, twisting her hands and doing a little shimmy like she can’t contain her excitement. My stomach starts to hurt. I probably shouldn’t watch this now that I know who she was hooking up with, but my morbid curiosity doesn’t let me set it down.
I see a shadow on the ground before Tate appears and walks into the nook. His back is facing me, but I can still see when she throws herself at him and wraps her legs around his waist. Oh my God. It feels like all of the air has been sucked out of my lungs. I can’t breathe, but I keep watching. He turns so they’re sideways as he sets her down and presses his back against the wall. The phone starts to shake vigorously in my hands. I tell myself, plead with myself, to stop watching, but I can’t.
Tate shakes his head, but she presses against him, pulls his face down to hers, and kisses him. Bile climbs up my throat and I cover my mouth quickly. Between the rain on the lens and the tears in my eyes, I can barely make out what’s happening, but I see her put her hand between his legs. He pushes her away slightly and says something, but she goes right back to doing what she was doing. I never thought a heart could actually break, but it’s what I feel mine doing.