Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
“I’m not asking because I’m judging you,” she adds softly, with sympathy in those beautiful brown eyes of hers I don’t deserve.
“Not as often as I should have,” I say.
“I’m not sure what she had to say about me, if anything, but I can’t imagine it was good—”
My light laugh cuts her off. “I found her journal. It’s one of the reasons I knew to look into Titus. Most of the entries are about you and how incredible you are.”
The pain in her eyes is unmistakable, but she looks away, biting down on her trembling lip. I clench my fists to restrain myself from reaching for her.
“We didn’t speak for months before that night,” she says quietly, bringing her eyes to mine. She must see the shock on my face, and the way my eyes widen when she adds, “Livie hadn’t spoken to her in a year. I…” Her lip trembles again, but she bites down on it quickly and continues.
“I failed her that night, and every night after.” She bats away stray tears and clears her throat. “In the very beginning, I came to the same conclusion as you. Surely, it couldn’t have been an accident, and even if it was, who was with her? I asked, and asked, but then your parents made us sign those papers and—”
“What papers?”
She shrugs. “An NDA of sorts. We weren’t allowed to speak about Mallory or post anything. I had to remove any posts she might have appeared in, even if she was in the background.”
I sit back, processing that information. It doesn’t surprise me. It’s the Barlow way, after all. Everything we do involves contracts.
“Can I ask you something?” she asks after a quiet moment. I stare at her, waiting. “Who was Blair Lowell to you?”
My stomach turns. “How do you know about her?”
In typical Josslyn fashion, she’s searching my face for answers she won’t find. After a moment of her scrutiny, I set my elbows on my knees and glance between my legs, eyes on the blue and white area rug. I refuse to let this be the reason she walks away from me. If she does, I will fucking murder Tate Foster and bury him in an unmarked grave.
37
FINN
“Was she your girlfriend?” she asks.
I take a breath. “It was complicated, but no, not really.”
“Did you love her?” she asks, her voice so soft, I almost miss the question.
My head lifts and I meet her eyes. “Why are you asking me about her? What did Tate say?”
“He…” She licks her lips, and I realize she’s scared of what my reaction will be. I nearly laugh.
“You can speak your mind. I won’t harm your perfect little ex-boyfriend.” Much.
“He blames you for her death.”
An uncomfortable weight lands on my chest. “He wouldn’t be the only one.”
God, I hadn’t heard Blair’s name in ages. I’m ashamed to say I haven’t even thought about her in a very long time. All of that feels like it was ten lifetimes ago. I’m not sure how long we sit in silence before the couch shifts and Josslyn is at my side, her hand on mine over my knee. It’s so warm and unexpected, I nearly jump out of my skin. I stare at it, so small over mine it almost looks fragile. I don’t deserve the comfort or the peace it brings me, but I’m a selfish man. I turn my hand and thread our fingers together.
“Tell me,” she says quietly.
“I was a sophomore at the time. I’d known Blair since … forever. We ran in the same circles, went to the same schools. Same as Tate.” I look at her again, my lips twisting. “She always liked me, but she started dating Tate. The girls had this bet on who could tame me, and Blair didn’t want any of her friends to get with me…”
An unamused chuckle leaves my lips as I shake my head. We were so fucking stupid back then.
“What happened?” she asks quietly.
“The first time she tried to fuck me, Tate found out and threw a fit. We were on the same team at the time,” I say.
Her eyes widen. “I didn’t know that.”
“He had a lot of reasons to hate me,” I admit. “His family lost a lot of money because of my father. I was better than him at everything. He finally got the girl he’d been in love with his entire life, and she wanted me.”
“That’s why he said you were only with me to get back at him,” she says. “What happened with Blair?”
“That night, we were at a party. I was leaving for hockey camp the next day. I guess she thought it would be a good time to finally get me to fuck her again.”
She tenses. “Again?”
“We’d hooked up a few times before she got with Tate,” I say.