Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
“That was…” I pant, unable to find words.
“I know.” He kisses me and pulls me closer, his sticky stomach pressing against mine as he carries me to the shower.
40
JOSSLYN
An uneasy feeling curls in the pit of my stomach as I flip through the pages of Mallory’s journal. A few days ago, I finally convinced Finn to take Titus off his list of suspects, but he insisted I see this. I really wish I hadn’t. I put a hand over my stomach, regretting the lasagna I had after my training session. I feel Finn’s stare, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. No matter how dysfunctional their relationship was, she was his sister.
What would I say anyway? The journal entries remind me of things I used to write in middle school about my crushes. But I wasn’t Mallory’s crush. Was I? Oh, God. Could I have missed that somehow? Anxiety threatens to grip me, but I breathe through it. I will not overthink this. How can I not, though? I flip through the catalog of memories we’d created, but they’re hazy and nothing stands out. I need to speak to Livie about this.
I bite my lip and finally look at Finn. His dark green eyes search mine, but I can’t read the expression on his face. Some of the entries say “I want out!” Others talk about someone she was seeing, but most of them are about me. It’s beyond uncomfortable. Livie comes to mind instantly, since she’d tried to warn me a few times about the way Mallory treated me. But this is a lot.
“Would it be okay for me to show this to Olivia?” I ask. “It’s okay if you don’t want me to. I just … she might be able to figure out who she’s talking about here, or why she’s … talking about me like this.”
“As long as she comes here.”
I nod and send Livie a quick text.
“I’m sure she’ll be thrilled. She’s been dying to ‘see us together,’” I say, hoping to lighten the mood and lift the boulder in the pit of my stomach.
He smirks. “Did you tell her you’re hiding me like a dirty little secret?”
My jaw drops. “I am not!”
He laughs as he stands up and tugs me out of my seat. When we’re in the living room, he sits and pulls me down so I’m straddling him. I push back my unease about the journal and settle into the moment. Every moment with him is cherished. Not only because we’ve been busy during the day, but because being with him makes me so damn happy.
“I don’t mind being your dirty little secret,” he says against my lips.
“Stop saying that. You’re not.”
He keeps joking about that since we haven’t gone out together, but between the semester finally starting, my brand sponsorships, his training camp, and the rest of his hectic schedule, we’ve had no free time. By the time we get home, we just want to shower, eat, chill on the couch for a little while, and go to bed.
According to Finn, training camp for the Owls is longer and tougher than usual since it’s a brand new team, and “everyone has to get their shit together.” Since we want to spend the little free time we have together, we’ve been staying over at each other’s places. Mostly Finn’s, though, since he has a better view and a plush king-size bed. Just the thought of getting ready to go out to eat is exhausting. The other day, I had to do a late shoot for a smoothie company and when I got home, I texted him that I didn’t have energy for sex. He showed up thirty minutes later with an overnight bag.
Still, it’s not a secret. Livie and Damian know. My mom knows, and Titus knows by default. My teammates know. His teammates know. We both got an earful from Lyla and Lachlan about it. It’s not a secret at all. Personally, I think he’s upset that I posted pictures with Tate and not him, but I was very clear that I wouldn’t post anything about anyone until I knew it meant forever. That seemed to piss him off even more, but I don’t care. He has my trust, but I learned my lesson about being too open on the internet.
“Hm.” He bites my lower lip and kisses me. “Let’s go out to dinner tomorrow.”
“Don’t you have practice?” I run my fingers through his hair and search his eyes. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of his eyes or the way he looks at me.
“No. We have a meet-and-greet signing event with season ticket holders. I’ll be done early.” He kisses my jaw and the side of my neck. “Josslyn.”
“What?” I gasp when he pulls away, cupping my left breast and tweaking my nipple. “Oh my God.”