Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56560 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56560 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Some people were really dramatic and hard to please.
“Alright, I have to admit that really does sound like a Secret Santa gift and it seems like it’s from one of your contractors.” Leander looked like that was painful. “But if it turns out to be a very confused burglar, I’m going to remind you of this conversation.”
“Fine.” Sometimes weird shit just happened. It wasn’t my fault. “What do I do?”
“You can play it off like a game if you don’t like any of them or you can hope that it’s the one you like.” Cocking his head, Leander looked confused. “Which one do you want it to be? Tree guy? The giggler? Body pillow dude? The bored cutie? Why don’t any of these men have real names?”
Oh, he asked hard questions.
“It’s probably my need for therapy talking but I have a thing for the bored one.” I’d admit to being unhealthy in a variety of ways, but at least I was up-front about it. “I want to make him smile. One laugh from him might make me orgasm.”
Scowling was the wrong response, but Leander was hard to please too. “If that’s a turn-on, we need to get you laid more often.”
“Agreed.” But that was another problem completely. “I don’t think I see him as a challenge. I considered that, but I just like his stern bored look and want to either do wonderfully dirty things with him or curl up in his lap and have him read me a book.”
So it wasn’t as unhealthy as it could’ve been.
“Oh, and I don’t want to change him. I just want him to smile at me once in a while. It’ll mean I’m special.” So maybe it was slightly unhealthy.
Still, compared to how my past relationships had gone, it wasn’t bad.
“So you don’t want to fuck tall guy? What about the short thruster?” Leander must’ve been getting distracted because he started keeping track of them on his fingers. “I’m going to say the giggler is too young or too much like you.”
“He’s really happy, but you’re right. He might need a Dom or something.” They were all lovely in their own way, though. “Well, most of them are like dessert and I’d have fun with them. I just think the bored one is a dinner I’d eat slowly. And no sugar rush, so it’s healthier.”
The rush wasn’t bad but the crash that came after was terrible.
Leander huffed. “When did you eat dinner?”
“Weren’t you planning on feeding me?” Hadn’t he said that was what we were doing? “We were starting at the bar and then going to get food, right?”
“For fuck’s sake.” The way he rolled his eyes said that wasn’t what he’d said. “Fine. But next time you tell me that you can multitask while we talk, I’m going to hang up on you.”
Oh.
“Deal.” He’d never remember that, so I wasn’t worried. “You can feed me something unhealthy because they made me eat a salad at lunch and I’m starving.”
I didn’t care how much stuff they put on it—if the base was lettuce and there was a ton of vegetables, it was a salad and that meant I was going to die if I wasn’t fed real food soon.
“Do I want to know why your contractors are feeding you?” Leander seemed to think that was weird, but I wasn’t sure why.
“Um, they’re in charge of the project. They made that very clear. I give them a framework and guidelines for what I can deal with and what I can’t. Like this terrible cabinet color that they really liked but was damned near pink. I called a full stop on that nonsense and we found a good compromise. But I couldn’t find enough logic to do the same thing on salad.”
Salad was a fun side dish, not a main dish, but I couldn’t even get the giggler to agree with me.
Leander’s head cocked again. “Do you have safewords and limits for your contractors?”
Maybe.
“They’re not safewords unless spankings or sexy times are involved.” Wasn’t that right? “They’re just guidelines.”
“No, they’re safewords and limits.” Sighing, Leander looked up at the ceiling. “Why does he do this to me?”
If God answered, I wasn’t going to let him drink anymore.
Nothing.
We were safe.
“Customers can get overly opinionated on stupid shit that changes the budget but not the outcome. They’re more focused on the quality and how I’ll love the project in the long run. That means there are rules.” Leander was a pain in the ass and started shaking his head before I’d even finished. “I want a nice kitchen that won’t burn down if I look at it funny.”
Old homes were nice but they were insanely dangerous…even my insurance company had agreed with me.
Making toast and running the microwave at the same time shouldn’t have almost gotten me killed.