Total pages in book: 235
Estimated words: 224334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1122(@200wpm)___ 897(@250wpm)___ 748(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 224334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1122(@200wpm)___ 897(@250wpm)___ 748(@300wpm)
“I’ve missed you too.” Her palm rests on the back of my head. It’s a gesture of comfort, and I hate it. It feels so good, but I hate it. The dynamics of our relationship don’t work this way. This isn’t what I really need—her comfort. I need her to need me.
I take in air and put myself on top of her, my erection falling just perfectly into position, and I swallow, bracing myself. It might take a while. And in the meantime, I’ll just look at her. Look at her and know I haven’t completely lost her. “Thank you for coming back to me.” I have to say it. She needs to know how grateful and relieved I am that she’s accepted me. The Manor, the drink. Both could have ended this bliss.
Her hands framing my face, she silently traces my lip, eyes on mine, and I open, allowing her to slip her thumb into my mouth. I kiss the tip gently when she pulls it free, my happiness becoming overwhelming. I’m ready. I’m ready to do this—to feel and fall. I’m ready to hear and I’m ready to speak. I push into my forearms and lift my hips, holding my breath, watching her closely. And I sink in calmly and lazily. It’s immediately too much, the friction, the pleasure, the injection of life. I hold still as her internal muscles welcome me, compressing and pulling. Jesus. Ava’s eyes close, and I use the opportunity to gather myself, my head hanging limply, my eyes clenching shut, my breathing already going to shit. Fuck me, this is intense. The sensitivity, my crazy heart rate, my clammy skin. I need to take a second. Find some strength. How I’m feeling, overwhelmed and weak, has nothing to do with functioning on a half-empty tank and everything to do with pure, raw love. It’s crippling.
I open my eyes, my purpose and strength found. “Look at me.” I don’t know if it’s my hoarse demand or my dick kicking inside her, but she obeys on a broken cry. I make sure she’s looking straight into my eyes before I speak. Emotion finds me again, taking over, ruling me. “I love you,” I whisper, and the moment the words leave my mouth, I feel like the world has been lifted from my shoulders. But just as fast, a different weight is placed there. A heavier weight. Not the world. But the fucking universe. I blink away the sting in my eyes, trying so hard to keep myself in check while she’s staring at me. I won’t fuck up this time. I won’t lose her. I can’t lose her. I’m on a journey to redemption, and I’m fiercely ignoring the possibility that by confessing my love to her, I’m also condemning her.
She suddenly isn’t holding me anymore, her arms on the bed, her eyes closed. “Don’t, Jesse.”
I flinch, injured, but this isn’t what she thinks. My confession isn’t an apology. It’s not a token gesture. It’s not an attempt to pacify her. “Ava, look at me.” She obeys, and it’s a comfort. So is the hope in her eyes. She wants to believe it. “I’ve been telling you how I feel the whole time.”
“No, you haven’t.” Her words are soft. Unsure. “You were hijacking my phone and trying to control me.”
I smile to myself. Trying. And she was trying to make me crazy. Thrived on it. But we always agreed on one thing, and as if speaking up, my dick pulses its presence. I roll my hips on a strangled moan. She wants words. “Ava, I’ve never felt like this before,” I say quietly as I drive calmly into her, feeling her stiffen and heat beneath me. “I’ve been surrounded by naked women with no respect for themselves all of my life.” I take each of her hands and pin her to the bed, ignoring the pain, raising slightly to get some leverage before pumping once, smooth and firm. Her body jacks, and she cries out my name.
Another purposeful drive. “You’re not like them, Ava.” Nothing like them, and that is only one of the reasons why I love her so fucking much.
I build up to consistent, constant thrusts as she cries out continuously. This, the effort, it should be draining me, but with each thrust, I feel more energy and purpose seeping into me. More love. “Jesus.” I stop abruptly, staring down at her panting, wet face. “You’re mine, and mine alone, baby,” I say quietly, and her throat rolls from her swallow. “Just for my eyes.” I scan her face, refreshing the mental pictures of her I have filed in every corner of my brain. “Just for my touch, and just for my pleasure.” I draw back, and my dick sliding through the hot walls of her pussy has me gritting my teeth. “Just mine. Do you understand me?” I hit home on a grunt, and she’s here for me. Absorbing. Taking it. Accepting it.