Total pages in book: 235
Estimated words: 224334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1122(@200wpm)___ 897(@250wpm)___ 748(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 224334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1122(@200wpm)___ 897(@250wpm)___ 748(@300wpm)
“What?”
“The Manor.” I look down at the back of her head, my lip getting a punishing chew. I’m nervous, and her body stiffening against me isn’t helping. Neither is her silence. So I go on. “The anniversary party.”
“What about it?” Her dismissiveness gets under my skin, however much I try to stop it.
I release my lip. “I still want you to come.” And latch on to it again the moment I’ve spat out the words.
“You can’t ask me to do that.” She shakes her head as she speaks, and my hand goes limp, my hope sinking. I can ask, and I have. “You asked me to go before I knew,” she goes on, her voice tight.
“Are you going to avoid my workplace forever?”
“I might do,” she grumbles, and I roll my eyes dramatically. Just yesterday she said she wasn’t going to avoid it forever.
“Don’t be stupid, Ava.” I take the sponge back to her skin to busy my hands and push my mouth to her head, giving her a pacifying kiss. “Will you please just think about it?”
“I’m making no promises.” It’s not a no. “And if you even think about trying to fuck some sense into me on this, I’m leaving.”
Don’t bite. She has a knack for firing loaded words. Words she knows will push my buttons. Words she doesn’t mean. She’s not leaving, and I’d fucking appreciate it if she didn’t threaten it. But rather than warn her, I wrap her up in my limbs, a silent message that she’s going nowhere. “I want the woman who keeps my heart beating with me.” Take that, baby. Deny me now, I dare you.
She stills, and I smile to myself, letting her absorb my declaration as I carry on soaking her with the sponge, my heart, as if backing me up, thrumming into her back at a comfortable, steady pace.
“Did you speak to Clive?” she asks out of the blue, and I falter in my flow, the sponge stalling momentarily on her chest.
“About what?”
“The mystery woman.”
God damn it, she’s not going to let this go. “No, Ava, I didn’t have time.” I try not to sound bored. Or irritated. Fail. “I promise you I will. I’m just as curious as you are.” Dickhead. Change the subject. “Now, are you hungry?” I lick her ear, breathing long, hot breaths, feeling her shudder.
“I’m not going to sleep until you tell me who that woman was.”
Who said anything about sleeping? She sounds as impatient as I’m feeling. Doesn’t she trust me? I flinch. She shouldn’t. One of the reasons Ava resisted our connection was because she deemed me a danger to her heart. She, like Sarah, and perhaps thanks to Sarah’s input, too, thought I was in it for one thing and one thing alone. Fucking. You’re not the kind of man to build dreams on. Yes, there have been many women in the past. Yes, some of them are bold and brash and undoubtedly jealous. There are many things Ava doesn’t need to or should know, and a hot list of my past fucks is one of those things. “How can I tell you if I don’t know?” I ask tiredly, wishing she’d just drop it. Move on.
“You do know.”
“I don’t fucking know,” I bark, frustrated. I immediately regret it, reining myself in. Ava jolts, startled, the water splashing around us, and I blink, shocked myself. This was supposed to be a lovely evening, just me and Ava, nothing in the outside world violating our peace. Until Ava let the outside world in. That, I can’t control. Her questions. Her curiosity.
Fuck it. None of this is her fault. It’s mine. All mine. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“Okay,” she whispers, unsure, making me feel rotten to my core. I cannot take my frustration out on her. Can’t be mad with her.
“My lovely lady is exhausted.” I hold her close, my arms like a vise around her shoulders, my mouth busy around her ear, apologizing some more. “Takeout?”
“You have a fridge full of food. It’s a waste.”
No, time lost cooking will be a waste. “Can you be bothered to cook?”
She ponders that for a few moments. I hope she reaches the correct answer. “Takeout.”
Good. “I’ll go and order while you wash your hair.” I get out of the tub, and it’s surprisingly easy to leave her in there. A grilling will do that.
I leave the bathroom, get the shampoo and conditioner I bought, and take it to her. Her gratitude is endearing. “Wear lace,” I whisper, kissing her on her forehead. Then I leave to order dinner.
14
I’m stuck behind a pane of glass, walking up and down, feeling, searching for the end. But it’s never-ending. A constant barrier.
I am on one side.
And everyone I love is on the other.
Jake.
Rosie.
Carmichael.
They’re all there, within reach but not. The shield between me and them has no end. There’s no way to get to them. I reach out and hit my hand. I call out to them and my voice ricochets back off the glass. I start thumping it, yelling, desperate to get to them. But my hits make no noise to get their attention. I’m invisible to them.