Total pages in book: 199
Estimated words: 200280 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1001(@200wpm)___ 801(@250wpm)___ 668(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 200280 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1001(@200wpm)___ 801(@250wpm)___ 668(@300wpm)
Even though he’s only repeated my one word, something about his tone makes me go even more alert. “Does your brother have a lot of them?”
“You’ve met him, haven’t you?”
“Yes.”
“So you already know.”
I think I do.
I’m not close with any of his brothers by any means. I don’t even think I’ve talked to them for more than five minutes. Well, except for that one time when I flirted with Shepard to piss Ledger off. But I definitely know that I haven’t spoken more than two sentences to their oldest brother, Conrad. Even though he also happens to be the boyfriend of one of my St. Mary’s friends, Wyn. Still, I’ve always been able to tell that he’s a man you shouldn’t mess with.
Apart from being the oldest Thorne and former guardian of all his siblings, he’s also one of the most authoritative men I’ve ever met. One of the most domineering, and that’s saying something, given that Reed is my brother and Ledger used to be the love of my life. But while Conrad’s vibe is controlled and disciplined and maybe even leashed, his youngest brother’s vibe is dangerous, untamed and ready to snap at any given moment.
In any case, I can totally see Conrad laying down rules for his siblings.
“What are some of his other rules?” I ask before I can stop myself.
He’d gone back to watching the last of the amber liquid in the tumbler but at my question, he comes back to me again. “Don’t go to the cabin.”
“But…” I clear my throat. “We’re here.”
He throws out a casual shrug. “He didn’t want any of us to have to do anything with our father. And despite what it looks like, I don’t disagree with him. In fact for the longest time I’d been on onboard with his plan of letting this place sit and rot.”
“So then what changed?” I ask, sitting at the edge of my seat.
Staring at him so intensely, straining my ears so that I don’t miss anything.
This is the first time he’s said anything about his family to me. And despite my decision to keep this arrangement as formal as possible, I’m not going to refuse what he’s giving me.
I’m not going to refuse a chance to get a glimpse at his life.
The very thing that attracted me to him in the first place.
“I grew up,” he clips.
“I don’t —”
“Realized I didn’t like rules very much and that I could make up my own mind,” he cuts me off, his eyes going back to the whiskey, as if he’s looking into the past. “But people don’t like it when you try to exert independence. Especially when they’re your family and especially when to them, you’ve always been the youngest. So one day I got fed up. Of all the bullshit and rules and whatever the fuck they came up with when it came to me, and ran away. I was twelve I think. Eleven? Can’t remember. But the first thing that I did after gaining my so-called freedom in the middle of the night was to go to the cabin. Something that was completely forbidden. I walked. Stole someone’s bike when I got tired of walking and somehow I got here. It was pretty spooky, this place. All abandoned, in the middle of the woods. No one had been here in ages I think. Definitely not my siblings and definitely not my piece-of-shit father. I think the last time any of us were here was when both our parents were with us. Although I don’t remember any of that because I was just a kid.
“Anyway, I spent the night here. Slept on the floor. Woke up with sun in my face. Swam in the lake. Slept under a tree when I got tired. It was the most beautiful, peaceful day I’d ever spent. Despite the fact that I was hungry as fuck. But by afternoon I realized that I needed go back.”
“Why?” I whisper.
Again, he lifts his eyes and I notice they’re swimming with a thousand things and I want to take the time to sift through every single one of them.
I don’t get that though.
Because they all vanish in an instant and his eyes turn harsh, his jaw clenching. “For my sister. For them, my brothers. Because as fed up as I was with my so-called family, they needed me. My brothers needed me to have their backs and my sister needed me to take care of her. But the funny thing is that they hadn’t even noticed. That I was gone, that I’d been gone for hours. Maybe the possibility didn’t even occur to them, that I could abandon them. All I remember is Stellan telling me to pick up the slack and do the dishes. And Conrad giving me the weekly grocery list because it was my turn that week to make the grocery run.” Then, sighing, “Anyway since then I like to come here whenever I need to get away for a while. And since I don’t care for sleeping on the floor or going hungry, I keep it stocked.”