Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 34225 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 171(@200wpm)___ 137(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 34225 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 171(@200wpm)___ 137(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
I sniffle as I reach for the front of my T-shirt, find the ribbon, and pull my pacifier up to my mouth. The thought of peeing myself without realizing it is unnerving. The only thing I can think to do to calm my racing heart is suck on the nipple.
Daddy puts the supplies away, arranges me back in the center of the bed, turns off the light, and settles against me once more. After tucking Teddy in my arms, he wraps an arm across my tummy. “Go back to sleep, Baby girl.”
I close my eyes and try, but I’m wide awake now. My brain is running. So many things are going to happen. My life is totally changing. I’m scared. Am I acting too rashly?
Who goes on a date with a man, lets him flip her world upside down, and agrees to move to an island with him all in the same day?
Daddy strokes my tummy with his palm. “You’re thinking so hard I can hear your brain working,” he whispers.
I pull my paci out. “No you can’t. That’s silly.”
He chuckles. “Okay, but was I wrong?”
“No,” I murmur. I sigh. “I’m scared.”
He lifts one of my hands to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “That’s normal. I’ve put a lot on your plate. Is it too much? Am I pushing you too hard, Baby girl?”
“I don’t know. It’s overwhelming. I can’t grasp everything I’ve agreed to, but I also can’t picture not doing those things either. I mean the thought of you moving away from me and not being able to see you makes my tummy hurt.”
“That’s good to hear,” he says softly.
“The thought of going to school is suddenly not at all appealing either. And I’m kind of frustrated with myself for deciding to do something I’m not interested in just so I can avoid confronting them. Why haven’t I just told them to butt out and let me make my own choices?”
“It’s perfectly normal to want to please your parents. It’s equally normal to go to some pretty extreme lengths to avoid rocking the boat. They’re your parents. You’re worried about disappointing them. It’s scary.”
“I know I can be a big girl tomorrow and tell them I’m with you, but I’m not at all sure they will approve. That makes me worry for both myself and for you. I don’t want them to be rude to you. It will embarrass me.”
“Don’t you worry about me, Zia. I’ll be perfectly fine no matter what happens. If they’re capable of accepting me, then I’ll move heaven and Earth to make sure you always have open communication with them and visit often. If they don’t like me, I can live with that. What I won’t tolerate is them being unkind toward you because of me.”
I like that he’s willing to defend me and support me. I truly don’t know for sure how my parents—especially my mother—will react. Anything is possible.
“I can tell you what will always be a constant in your life, though, Baby girl. Me. I won’t let you down. You will always be able to count on me to provide exactly what you need and take care of you.”
I swallow hard as big emotions consume me. I never dreamed I would meet a man as perfect as Gabriel, someone who would accept me for who I am on the inside, including my faults.
I’ve pictured myself playing this ridiculous game with my parents for years. A game where my mother thinks I’ll eventually stop studying and marry one of her friend’s sons. It’s frequently given me a stomach ache.
I try to go to their house for dinner about once a week, but lately I always leave there feeling ill because I never defend myself or tell her that I’m not going to follow her plans.
When we get to their house today, I’m going to face my fears. For better or worse, I’m going to tell my parents to stop setting me up because I’ve already met a man I love. Can I possibly tell them more?
Gabriel only made me promise to tell them we’re together, but I’m starting to think it would be better to rip off the entire Band-Aid all at once and let the chips fall. At least afterward, I’ll know where things stand. I won’t have future conversations looming over me and making me nervous all the time when I’d rather spend happy times with Daddy.
“Thank you, Daddy.” I wrap my fingers around his forearm over my stomach. He’s like a tether, holding me all together. Can he do so forever?
Chapter Eleven
“Is that everything, Little one?” Daddy asks.
I glance around my apartment, brushing a lock of hair from my face. We’ve been here packing all morning. After we’d gotten up, Daddy had fed me eggs and bacon before ushering me to the shower.