Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 98023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
The thought stops me cold.
No fitting him into my routine anymore—he’s a part of it.
Blake
I finish off my burger and start to collect Lex’s and my takeout containers from her coffee table. She’s already curled up on the couch with a blanket, scrolling through Netflix for something to watch.
Last night, we watched a documentary called Trust Machine, and it was all about cryptocurrency, how currencies like Bitcoin and Ethereum were developed, and the possible global implications for the future.
I didn’t know ninety-nine percent of the information, but Lexi did. For all I know, she’s already created her own form of cryptocurrency.
“Hey, Lex?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you know how to create cryptocurrency?”
“Yeah.”
I drop our containers into the trash and walk back into the living room. But I stop right in front of where she’s perched on the couch, still scrolling through streaming possibilities. “What do you mean, yeah? Like, you know the basic logistics of it, or if I asked you to create a coin named Biscuits, you’d have it done by the morning?”
She glances at the time on her phone. “It’s almost ten, Blake. I’d need at least sixteen hours. Possibly twenty-four.”
My jaw hits the floor. “You’re serious.”
She just stares at me.
“Lexi, you mean to tell me, that big, beautiful brain of yours could create me a cryptocurrency named Biscuits?”
“Honestly, Blake, I think Biscuits would be a horrible name if you actually want it to succeed.”
I laugh. Fuck. This girl. She’s endlessly intriguing to me.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Because…” Because I love you. Because you’re everything. “You’re funny.”
“I wasn’t trying to be funny.”
“I know. But sometimes the funniest things are when they’re meant to be serious.”
She quirks her brow. “That’s so contradictory.”
“That’s life, baby.”
She smiles at that.
My phone vibrates from its spot on her coffee table, and I grab it to find a few missed texts in my group chat with Ace and Finn.
Ace: BLAKE
Ace: BLAAAAKE
Finn: Blake, this is Ace’s annoying way of telling you to come out with us tonight. There’s a party on Frat Row. The Sigma house.
Ace: Fuck, Finn. You ruined my whole spiel.
Finn: Zero fucks given, bro.
Ace: What do ya say, Golden Boy? You going to meet up with us tonight? Or are you going to keep being a recluse in your apartment bc football is making your wittle baby muscles sore.
“You feel like doing something tonight?” I question, and Lex meets my eyes.
“You mean go out?”
“Yeah. Ace and Finn said there’s a party.”
Lexi furrows her brow. “Blake, I can’t do that. We can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because everyone would think we’re together.”
“Hey, coincidence…we are together.” She levels me with a look, so I clarify. “Ohhh. You mean, everyone would know about us.”
“Yeah.” She snorts. “That’s exactly what I mean.”
If I know anything about Lexi, I know that delving deep into the giant pink elephant of a conversation that rears its head every two to three business days is the last thing she wants to do right now, but I also know if I don’t bring it up, she won’t either.
If I’m ever going to get anywhere, I have to keep nudging her outside of her comfort zone. And I have to get somewhere. The need for the security of a real relationship with this amazing woman is eating me alive.
I pause to take a breath and sit down on the couch beside her, willing myself to take the harder road. I could easily let it go—settle in and enjoy her body and mine together over and over again. But the longer I let this conversation go, the harder it gets to have. “Lex, maybe people knowing wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe it would be the best thing.” I pull her hand into mine, gripping it gently between my palms while my heart starts to pound erratically inside my chest. “I need it to be the thing.”
She tilts her head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I love you, Lexi.” I tell her my truth, compelled to lay it all on the line. “I’m in love with you. I love everything about us, and I want to love it openly and outwardly all the fucking time.”
“Blake, I…” She stares at me, her mouth setting in a firm line as her eyes flit away from mine. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just tell me how you feel.” I squeeze her hand. “About me. About us. About what scares you. The two of us can figure out how to handle it together.”
She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and avoids my gaze entirely. “I don’t think I’m the right girl for this, Blake.”
“Right girl? Lex, you’re the only girl for me.”
“No, Blake.” She shakes her head. “I’m not good with relationships, and I don’t fall in love. You want me to tap into my emotions and tell you how I feel, and the truth is, I don’t feel. Not like you. Not at the surface for everyone to see. I don’t think I’m capable of that, Blake. I’m just…different.”