Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
I click his profile, and a message pops up.
FulfillingDominance: Good evening, boy. How did it go after we ended our scene the other night?
Warmth fills my belly. Part of me thinks it’s overboard for him to ask that. It’s not as if we were even in the same room. He didn’t touch me or put me in subspace, something I’ve never experienced but have read a lot about, but the bigger part of me is… I don’t know how to put it into words. I like that it’s important to him that I’m okay. It makes me feel special.
CravingMore: Amazing, honestly. It’s nearly all I’ve thought about since. I slept incredibly well, got out of my head, and came harder than I ever had by myself.
FulfillingDominance: Hmm…only by yourself? Not at all? We’ll have to work on that next time.
Next time. A smile takes over my face.
CravingMore: I’m naked now, Sir, if you’d like to play.
Please, please, please say yes.
FulfillingDominance: Naked? Someone was optimistic. What if I want you clothed?
CravingMore: Then I’ll get dressed right now. I want to be good for you.
When I first started having submissive thoughts, I believed there was something weird about me for feeling like that, but now I don’t. I want to be a good boy for another man, and that’s just who I am, even if most people in my life—or hell, in the world—wouldn’t understand it. Why do they have to understand every part of me? They don’t. All that’s important is accepting those differences in others.
FulfillingDominance: I have a feeling you’re going to be trouble.
I grin again.
CravingMore: I’m not sure if I should be offended or proud… Honestly, it’s a little of both.
FulfillingDominance: You almost made me choke on my dessert.
CravingMore: In a good way, Sir?
FulfillingDominance: Yes, from chuckling and from hunger my treat can’t sate.
Trembles run the length of me, my skin flushing and blood heading to my groin.
CravingMore: Ugh…I want to sate your hunger. Please, will you make me come?
I watch, waiting for him to reply…one minute, two, three. The silence stretches out, making me wonder if I said or did something wrong. Maybe I ruined this. Maybe I’m the one who’s bad at it, and those other Doms didn’t do it for me because I don’t know what I’m doing.
My fingers twitch over the keyboard, but I’m not sure what to say. I don’t want to mess this up, to do the wrong thing. I’m sure he wants patience in a boy, and I want to show him I can do that.
FulfillingDominance: Sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you waiting. I had to take care of something.
I breathe out a sigh of relief, the tension slowly leaving my body, like air from a punctured balloon.
CravingMore: I was scared I had done something wrong.
FulfillingDominance: Scared?
CravingMore: Maybe that’s the wrong word, but nervous… I like this…what we’ve done and talking to you. It’s not like we really know each other or have done much, but it feels right…good. I don’t want to ruin it…don’t want to mess up.
FulfillingDominance: Is that typical for you? Fearing you’ll mess up? Or do the wrong thing?
Bits and pieces of my life flutter through my head. Disappointing my parents, losing my best friend when I came out and wondering if I should have stayed in the closet. Quitting lacrosse when I was good enough to have gotten a scholarship to a D1 college, and the way everyone told me it was selfish and wasting a good opportunity. Hell, even the dates I’ve been on or the men I’ve had scenes with where things weren’t what I needed, part of me wondered if I was the problem.
CravingMore: Yes…Jesus. How have I never realized that about myself? I have a fear of messing up and letting people down, yet…
FulfillingDominance: Yet?
CravingMore: I don’t change. I stay on my path. Does that make me an asshole?
FulfillingDominance: No, boy. It doesn’t. It means you know who you are and what you want, and you won’t sacrifice that. Those are good qualities to have.
CravingMore: How do you know when I haven’t even told you the situations?
FulfillingDominance: If you were here, that might have gotten you a spanking…but I guess you’re right in some ways. Call it intuition. But if we continue this and if we meet, I want you to always be honest with me if you feel that way. And if you do ever let me down, I’ll be honest with you and tell you why and how. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we’re bad or that there’s something wrong with us.
I lean back against the headboard, the worry balloon completely deflated now, and just like that, the stress ebbs. Which is strange because my parents don’t hold back from telling me when they aren’t happy with something I’ve done, and all it does is piss me off, but I need it from him.