Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82829 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
“Not great. I would have vented last night, but you were in bed. He…wasn’t what I want.”
Raleigh isn’t one of the queerest places on the planet, that’s for sure. I’m attracted to older men, dominant men—I like to be told what to do when it comes to sex, or maybe even outside the bedroom when it’s with someone I’m sleeping with. Anyone else bosses me around and we’re gonna have a problem, but if it’s someone I’m fucking? Hell, there’s not much I won’t do. But it’s not easy to find what I’m looking for. It’s never quite right…something’s always off, though I can’t put my finger on it.
“They never are.”
I chuckle because I can’t say Reggie’s wrong. Some guys are too soft. They feel more like they’re playing at this. They’ll say our wants and needs match up, but they don’t. Others are cruel, and there’s a huge difference between being harsh or demanding and being cruel.
I don’t want cruelty. Apparently, I want a fucking unicorn. Who knew finding an older Dominant would be so difficult? “My sex life is about the only place I have high expectations. Maybe I can tell Dad that even though I’m pretty easygoing in what I want for most of my life, I’m really picky and only want the best when it comes to the men who boss me around and fuck me hard.”
Reggie laughs. That’s absolutely something I won’t be sharing with my dad. Not that most people talk to their parents about their sex lives at all, but he wouldn’t understand. Being gay isn’t a problem for my family. My dad’s best friend since before I was born is bisexual. My parents are open and affirming that people have the right to be who they are and be attracted to whoever they like too.
But he’d never understand my desire to be used, to be dominated—would never understand that I want to crawl around on the floor and be told I’m a good boy. My mom and dad would think something is wrong with me because something like that would never cross their minds—especially Dad’s.
At the same time, he just doesn’t get that I’m not as perfect as he is. That I’m not going to college, and that I don’t know what in the fuck I want to do with my life. I don’t have it plotted out, and I’m okay with that. Still, even though I’m a functioning adult and pay my own bills, Dad sees me as a failure. He would never use those words—that’s not how my dad rolls—but I know it’s true.
“Sorry, babe. Wish I could help.”
Reggie and I have gotten each other off from time to time when we’re in the mood, but we don’t fully scratch each other’s itches. I might not be a twink like him, but I’m definitely a bottom. I’ve topped three times in my life, and all of them felt wrong and weird. It’s much easier for me to come with something up my ass than my dick in someone else’s. Reggie is the same.
“It is what it is. We better get back to work.”
I go check on my orders, right as there’s one ready for me to bring to a table. I grab the food and head to the couple, setting the steak down in front of the woman. “Here you go. Our brussels sprouts are the best. They’re my favorite. I love the honey glaze.” She’d ordered a side of them with all the fixings.
“I love them so much!” she replies as I give the man with her his food. They chat with me for a second, like a lot of the customers seem to do. I’m good with people, which is something I’m proud of. There are always assholes, of course, but overall, I enjoy working with the public.
The night flies by, and before I know it, I’m leaving North Hills to head to my apartment in downtown Raleigh. North Hills restaurants are where it’s at, but there’s no way I can afford to live there. Honestly, I couldn’t afford this place either if I didn’t share with Reggie. It’s not the best apartment, but it’s not the worst either. I feel safe, and the area is filled with people my age, so it works.
At home, I head upstairs, strip out of my clothes, and shower before taking my laptop to my bed and logging in to one of my favorite kink sites. There’s tons of information about the lifestyle, and they also have boards and areas where you can meet people. I’ve talked to at least twenty guys here, and while none of them are ever what I want and I’ve only met up with a few of them, I’ve at least gotten an orgasm or two out of it. Plus, I’ve learned a lot about myself just browsing the site and seeing that I’m not alone in the things I’ve always craved.