Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
“Five years,” he stated calmly. I raised an eyebrow at him, confused by what he meant. “One thousand eight hundred and fifteen days, to be exact.”
“What’s that?”
“The amount of time I was able to love your mother.”
“Dad…”
He smiled as he wiped my tears away. “One thousand eight hundred and fifteen days, and I never regretted a single moment of my time with her. The truth is, I’d sign up for a day with your mother’s love, knowing that I’d lose it tomorrow. I’d leap into her love and count every passing second as a blessing because that’s what love is. It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced. And that love didn’t die when your mother transitioned. That love lives in you, Willow Rose. You are your mother’s and my greatest love story. Love—true love—never dies. It only transforms, and I’m sure Molly would tell you the same. And I know you think you don’t deserve love, but, sweetheart…love deserves you. The way you love is meant to be experienced. And I cannot even imagine the way your love has saved Theo. I know it has saved him, too.”
“How could you know that?”
“Because he looks at you the way I looked at your mother. And she saved me time and time again. The same way you and your sisters do every day. The world needs your love, Willow. And you need Theo’s love.”
I knew he was right, but I’d already messed up. I’d pushed him away. I’d run, knowing running was the one thing that would hurt Theo the most. “It’s too late.”
“Is your heart still beating?”
“Yes.”
“And his is, too?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s never too late. All you have to do is find enough courage to stand after falling and go try.” Dad kissed my forehead and hugged me. “You know how big my love is for you, Little Bird?” he whispered, asking the same question he used to ask me when I was a child.
“Bigger than the sky,” I whispered.
“Yes,” he agreed. “And deeper than the sea.”
Even with a love that big, I still felt like I was drowning in my own troubled thoughts. I wanted to believe my father and take his advice, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
Because Dad was wrong about one thing—I didn’t deserve love.
Anna did. She was the most deserving person when it came to love. And as long as she didn’t have it, I should’ve been suffering, too.
CHAPTER 39
Theo
Ever since Willow left, life seemed different.
Overall, nothing had changed. I still fished. I still read. I still sold goods at the farmers’ market. Everything was the same as before she came into my life, but at the same time, it wasn’t. What used to bring me peace, my solitude, now only brought me loneliness.
It had been such a long time since I’d been lonely.
Decades, even.
But now, the other side of my bed felt cold. My boat seemed empty. My heart? Well, fuck that organ. Its brokenness did the most damage to me.
I kept moving through each day as if I wasn’t bothered, though. The more time that passed, the more I began to forget she’d ever existed to me. I wanted to erase every single memory of her from my mind, too. Her smile. Her laugh. The way she walked on her tiptoes. The way she talked too much, but at the same time, I couldn’t get enough of her words. Her eyes. Her nose. Her spirit.
I wanted all traces of her to be diminished from my existence. I wanted her gone.
Until then, I tried my best to return to my routine.
“Seven dollars,” Julia Ripton remarked, holding her hands to her chest as if I’d told her that her dog had died in a tragic accident. “There’s no way you upped the cost since the last time I came!”
I blinked blankly at Julia. “I didn’t raise the prices.”
“No, you did. I swear I paid less just last month. I swear, you’re trying to rip off your customers, Theo Langford. This is highway robbery,” she expressed. The same way she’d expressed it every damn week when she showed up in line.
“Take it or leave it,” I muttered. I grew annoyed a lot easier than I had in the past. It felt as if the universe was out to piss me off.
As I stared at Julia yapping about bullshit I didn’t care about, I couldn’t help but wonder why in the hell I was thinking about Willow and how she would’ve handled Julia’s complaints.
Somehow, she would’ve made Julia laugh. Or somehow had Julia buy the whole table of sourdough.
Julia kept yapping, and my irritation kept building until I pushed over the display of sourdough. “Here!” I shouted, tossing my hands up in defeat. “Just take it for free, all right. I don’t give a shit.”
Julia placed her hand against her chest, flabbergasted by my outburst. “Theo Langford! That’s no way to act in public. Especially toward a woman. What would your grandfather think?”