Total pages in book: 31
Estimated words: 28599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 143(@200wpm)___ 114(@250wpm)___ 95(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 28599 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 143(@200wpm)___ 114(@250wpm)___ 95(@300wpm)
I look down.
“I’m so ashamed, Mom,” I whisper through the sudden wetness in my eyes. “I don’t even want to say.”
“You know you can tell me anything,” she replies kindly. “You know you’ll feel better. Go on.”
Something crumbles inside, and my defenses break.
“I have all these feelings for Hunter and Alex,” I sob. “Sexual feelings, as well as emotional ones. And I know it’s so wrong.”
“I understand,” Mom nods. “It must be strange, because Hunter is your stepfather and Alex is your stepbrother.”
“Exactly,” I say thickly, wiping my eyes.
“But sweetheart,” murmurs Mom, “you’re not related. Not biologically at least. And you know that Hunter adopted Alex, so they’re not biologically related either.”
“But still!”
“You’re three hot-blooded adults living under the same roof together. I know you think it’s strange that you feel attracted to them, but I think it would have been stranger if you hadn’t been.”
I look up, and my mother’s expression is beneficent.
“Really?” I sniff.
“Yes,” Mom nods, smiling, making me feel better.
“But that’s not all,” I choke, starting to cry again. “Feeling attracted to them is one thing. But wanting them both? I just can’t help but feel like that’s so wrong and unacceptable.”
“Why?” Mom asks.
“Because that’s not how relationships are!” I sniff. “A relationship has two people in it, not three. So even if I could get past the fact that I have feelings for my stepfather and stepbrother, I’d still have to make a choice if I decided to actually start a relationship with one of them. And then what? How will the other take it? I don’t want to break up a family. And I wouldn’t even know who to choose!”
“Maybe you’re moving too fast,” Mom says in a kind tone. “How do Hunter and Alex feel about you?” I think about this a moment as I wipe my face again.
“They both seem to have feelings for me, too,” I finally reply. “At least sexual feelings. Both Hunter and Alex have been very, um, let’s say, forward in that area.” I’m hesitant to share more details with her because I don’t want to trouble an angel with the sordidness of human life, but I do want her to know the facts. “I slept with both of them, Mom,” I blurt out. “I gave them my virginity… and well, it was wonderful.”
“I see,” Mom nods kindly.
“Well, yeah, but -” I stammer. “Wait, you’re not mad?”
“Mad about what?” Charity asks in earnest.
“That I slept with your former husband?” I reply, dumbfounded. “And his son?”
“No, sweetheart,” she laughs, shaking her head. “I’m dead, remember? I know you’re trying to be loyal, but I’m not there anymore for you to be loyal to. You have to do what makes you happy, Elle. And you being happy is all I want.”
I stare at my mother, stunned.
“But,” I continue, “what if it turns out that what would make me happiest is to be with both of them? Would you still support me then?”
“Of course,” Charity answers. “I know why you’re here at the City of Enlightenment, Elle. You’re trying to get back in touch with yourself, and in doing so, you’ve unlocked a spiritual door that made it possible for me to connect with you like this. But while you’re trying to get back in touch with yourself, I want you to do something else as well.”
“What?” I whisper, wondering what she will say.
Charity beams at me, her expression kind.
“When you do find yourself, I want you to be honest with what you find. I want you to be honest with yourself about what you want, and to find a way to accept that it might not be what convention demands of you.”
“You mean, a menage with my stepbrother and stepfather,” I say in a small, teary voice.
“If that’s what you’re agonizing over, then yes,” confirms Mom. “If you feel a certain way about Hunter and Alex, and they feel the same about you, and everyone consents, then it’s fine. Relationships don’t have to be just between two people, as long as everyone is on the same page.”
“Really?” I gasp. “You believe that?” I always thought Mom was the more conservative type. But then again, dying probably left her a changed woman.
“Of course I do,” Mom winks, putting her hand on mine. Curiously, all I can feel is a slight warmth, and nothing else. “Remember, Elle,” she continues, “love is love. No matter who you find it with.”
I startle awake with a gasp and sit up in bed, panting. My eyes dart around the room, but Charity is gone. Yet the dream still sits right behind my eyes, and if I close them, I see her as if she’s still here. And echoing through my mind I hear her comforting words, over and over again: “Love is love, no matter who you find it with.”