Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
“Jasp?”
And somehow, hearing my name on his lips cemented everything I was finally letting myself see. “I’m…I’m in love with you too.” I didn’t know what that meant for me, for us. Clearly, it was something. I’d never thought of myself being with a guy, but I wasn’t sure I could ever love anyone the way I loved Sutton.
“No. Fuck you, Jasper. You don’t get to do that. You can’t say that shit to me right now, not when you’re drunk and just tryin’ to find a way to keep things the way they are. That’s not fair. I can’t…”
He tried to turn away, but I grabbed hold of his biceps, stepped closer, smelled the fresh-cut wood and amber of his skin, and felt it in my bones. “I’m not… I don’t know… I’m not sure how to do this, or fuck, how could I not have known? How did I not see that I’m in love with you?” The words were both foreign and so fucking right. My head was a mess of conflicting emotions, fear and worry, but one thing was certain through it all. “I’m in love with you, and that scares the shit out of me, but not as much as losing you does. Sutton… I…”
Needed him. I didn’t have all the words or answers. I didn’t know where we went from here, but I needed him, and I knew he needed me too. So I stepped closer, wrapped my arms around him, felt the warmth of his skin, his heartbeat against mine, his breath on my throat as he buried his face there.
“You’re gonna fuckin’ ruin me, do you know that? It’ll break me to have you, then lose you.”
Still, his strong arms encircled me too, squeezed me so tight, I thought he was trying to get us to mold together, and the truth was, I’d be okay with that. We’d always felt like we were one anyway.
I’d hugged Sutton a million times in my life, but this was different. His chest against mine—different. His grip in my hoodie—different. The way we breathed each other in and melted together, like our bodies were saying, Finally. This is where we’re supposed to be. This is how we’re supposed to be.
My lips brushed ever so gently along his neck, and Sutton trembled against me.
“What do we do now, Sutt? I don’t know how… What do we do?”
“We go to sleep. This is a conversation we don’t need to have tonight, especially since you’ve been drinkin’.”
I nodded, knowing he was right but not wanting to let him go, afraid he would slip through my fingers and I’d never get to hold him like this again.
“Come on.” He tried to pull away, but I didn’t let him, couldn’t send the signal from my brain to my arms to loosen my hold.
“I wanna sleep in your bed with you. I’m scared to let ya go.”
“Jesus, Jasper. You really are gonna ruin me. Let’s go.”
This time I went. He took my hand, and damned if my cheeks didn’t feel warm. Sutton grabbed a bottle of water, and I knew it was for me. He led me to his room, where we sorta stood, unsure what to do.
I watched as he pulled his flannel off.
I did the same with my hoodie.
His tee came next, then mine.
“We’re bein’ ridiculous,” he said as he tugged his shoes off, then his pants, and stood in front of me in his underwear. I’d seen his body a million times, but still my breath caught at the sight of him. At the cut of his abs, and the trail of hair that dipped below his briefs. At the bulge and…I was gonna touch that if we were together, wrap my hand around him the way I did to myself. Maybe explore it in other ways. I was scared, worried about what to do and how, but this was us. We could figure out anything together.
I leaned over to take my shoes off and lost my balance. He caught me, held me against him with all that bare skin, and yep, this was totally different. I wasn’t hard, but I was also drunk and emotionally drained.
Sutton led me to his bed, and when I sat down, he knelt and removed my shoes and socks.
“Sutton.”
“Shut up.”
“I was just gonna say thank you.”
“Take your pants off.”
“If I wasn’t freakin’ the fuck out, I’d make a joke about you being bossy.”
He smiled, and that made everything a whole lot easier.
I stood, stripped down to my boxer briefs. Sutton pulled back the blankets, and I climbed in.
I watched his ass when he went to the light switch, and…oh, there was a little twitch down there. It was a really nice ass.
He killed the lights, then a second later the bed dipped and he was there, both of us on our sides, me with my back to him. Sutton put his arm around me, making me the little spoon.