Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 81279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81279 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
We painted faces on the target practice boards, he showed me some moves a smaller guy like me could utilize for self-defense, and taught me where to punch or cut for maximum damage. At the same time, he showed me where to cut for minimum damage but maximum pain, which I appreciated. We burned Patrick’s body and Ted’s head, then discarded the ashes and remaining bone fragments in the nearby river. It took us a whole day, but Saint treated it as an opportunity to teach me about covering one’s tracks.
That’s not all there is to him though, and at times, I struggle to understand the extreme dichotomy of him being so casual about death and then initiating the most mundane activities, like inventing dishes out of the ingredients we have on hand or looking up Christmas crafts on Pinterest for us to do together. We decorated more cookies than two people could possibly eat, watched movies every evening, and once I even made a sleigh out of a laundry basket and talked Saint into pulling me around the house in reindeer antlers. I wish I took a photo, but I was too busy laughing my ass off and jingling bells.
By the time the snowplow arrived to get us out, I wished our solitude would have lasted a bit longer, but Saint was set on leaving as soon as possible.
It’s so strange that I’ve so far lived with the conviction I would never be able to land a boyfriend, or even have sex, but his confidence, and the odd mixture of danger and gentleness brought me out of my shell. Everything is so easy with him, and while I see myself falling ever deeper into his arms, I don't have the strength to deny myself. It’s only been less than a month, and now I’m scared of him losing interest. My plans to use our agreement and then somehow trick him out of the reward have sunk to the depths of the dark ocean, and it’s me who desperately longs for our relationship to continue.
I’m falling for him. Not just crushing on a hot neighbor or hooking up with no strings. Everything about Saint feels right.
But caring about someone awakens feelings I’ve long buried, along with my family. Because if you love someone, they become a part of you, and the possibility of losing them is a threat to your very being.
I rub my leather-clad thumb over Saint’s soft, wet lips just as he comes, gorgeous even in the mask. The skin around his eyes and mouth is flushed so deliciously I want to get a taste of it, but then he rests his face against my thigh and cleans up with tissues.
“Oh… this is hot. We need to watch out so fucking on jobs doesn’t become too much of a tradition,” he says with a grin and gets up, closing his pants.
I pull up my jeans without haste. “Sounds like a good tradition to me…” I’m teasing him, but I know what he means. Work won’t always offer us so much dead time.
We entered the mall Miles Brown works at before closing time, hid, and now we’re stuck in a locked department store, waiting for one of Saint’s contacts to let us know that the cameras have been disabled. I wish I was an IT specialist so I could be more useful to Saint, but unfortunately hacking is outside my realm of expertise.
But I’m very eager to become even better at shooting, either as backup or for jobs where sniping someone is enough. Despite my bad knee, I feel confident I can also be a good lookout. I’m not big, not very memorable, and my experience in customer service means I find it easy to pretend I’m nice and normal. I can also become a getaway driver if I polish my skills, and we’re already working on learning a system of codes built on one Saint used with his uncle, including special whistles.
Because yes, if he chooses to stay with me, I’m ready to become his apprentice. His partner. His fuckbuddy, and lover, and everything in between. I don’t know what kind of person that makes me, but this path doesn’t feel… wrong. Sure, it’s not hard to want revenge on people who brutally murdered my own family, but as I adjust to all this and learn Saint’s every lesson, the thought of giving others the relief he offers me feels good.
Simple murder for hire? That I couldn’t do, but if Saint and I only target people who hurt others severely enough to warrant revenge? I can get behind that. I want to be the justice the law never gave me.
It makes me feel powerful after years of lacking control over my own life.
When I follow him out of the changing rooms, watching his toned form from the back, I feel so enamored, a dumb smile emerges on my face. For ease of movement, the sweater he’s wearing is form-fitting, and that emphasizes the difference between his wide shoulders and narrow hips. And yet this dangerous, beautiful man, this beast in a balaclava, chose me because he saw qualities I didn’t know I possessed.