Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 109976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 550(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109976 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 550(@200wpm)___ 440(@250wpm)___ 367(@300wpm)
“Dave, in the morning we’re going shopping. I need you to call ahead and have the store closed for a couple of hours. Tell her she needs to be there a half an hour early. We’re pressed for time.”
“I’m on it.” He got up and left the room to make the call.
“How is she?” Kev walked over and stood beside me at the window where I was looking out into the dark night.
“She’s asleep… she was scared and alone Kev, while I went on with my life a couple blocks away?”
“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know.”
“Yeah, but I know them, I knew what he was and I still left her there. That’s the only reason that old man is still alive, because the blame is partly mine.” He clapped my shoulder and squeezed.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll make it right.”
This trip is to give her time to relax, to get away from it all. But I haven’t the slightest clue where to start to undo the shit she’s been through. All I can do is be myself, be the man I’ve wanted to be for her. But is it enough? There’s still so much missing, so much I still don’t know and that feeling that she’s hiding something from me still persists.
But after reading everything she’d written I can’t imagine what else there could be, what could be so horrible that she found it hard to write it down? My mind wanted to go to a dark place, but somehow I didn’t think it was that, I feel more like it’s something she’s deeply afraid of anyone finding out. But she’s not allowed to keep things from me. The sooner she learns that the better.
“I gotta say bruh, I’m not trusting this new attitude. Your no chill is scary enough, but this… what’re you up to?” Dave walked back into the room and stuck his nose in my shit.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You disappeared all afternoon, what were you doing?”
Only the two men in this room would dare, and only they knew me well enough to know the struggle I was dealing with right now. “I have to do what’s best for her. If this doesn’t work then we’ll go to the next best thing.” Of course I already knew the senator won’t go away that easily, not after the shit I’d read in that journal and what I know of the man.
It’s calculating on my part I know, but I want to make it so that he’ll come at me first. I want him to cross the line, to give me reason to end his fucking existence. But I need it to be justified. As much as I want to cut off his head and use his stump for manure, my woman deserves a man that doesn’t have unwarranted blood on his hands.
I didn’t miss the look that passed between the two of them when I didn’t answer Dave’s question, but I was too tired to deal with their shit. The next few days were going to be busy. Since I’d decided to marry her sooner rather than later, I have to think of a public announcement. No matter how I word that shit though, people are gonna talk. The asshole had just been buried after all.
But as much as I’d wanted to save her form public scrutiny before, my need to protect her from the senator was stronger and way more important. Still, I need to do things in a way that doesn’t harm her any more than she already has been.
“Did you ask her about the Uber and what that was about?” I’d forgotten all about that, but now I guess I understand her thinking there.
“It’s fine!” I know she wasn’t trying to leave me. She was just trying to escape the senator. She’d written that in her journal as well.
“I’ll see you two in the morning.” I turned to leave the room.
“You might wanna kill the death lights in your eyes before you scare your girl.” Kevin’s words brought me up short. I’ve been working hard not to show her my anger, but apparently alone with them I’d let the mask slip, that could be just as bad.
If they knew what I was truly thinking one or the other of them would get it into their head to take that dumb fuck out before I got to it. I didn’t want that. Though we share a bond that has withstood a whole lotta bullshit over the years, this was mine to do.
I just nodded in answer and headed for the stairs. By the time I walked into the room where she was asleep my face was back to normal again. I got undressed and climbed into bed, pulling her into my arms and settling down to sleep.