Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
I can’t live without this.
I have to live without this.
Hot, angry tears threaten to fill my eyes, but I won’t let them. I’m not going to ruin this by crying and waking him up. Let him rest. Did he think I wouldn’t notice how tired he appeared at dinner? He might be able to fool my father, but he can’t fool me, for I’ve already seen him. The real him. With all the walls knocked down and all the masks stripped away. I care about him too much to disturb his rest. Besides, he would only want to know why I’m upset, and I can’t tell him it’s because I have to leave. Even though I love him.
And that no matter how much it’ll hurt, it’s for the best.
I can’t tell him that, can I? Not now. Not ever.
I should go. I shudder to think what would happen if Dad or Bianca came up with a reason to visit my room out of nowhere. If they found me gone, what would they think? The thought of alarm sirens shattering a peaceful night makes me cringe, but that’s exactly what he would do. I have to go. All I’m doing is breaking my heart, anyway. Giving myself something that will never really be mine.
I guess that’s why it seems so impossible to leave. Because I know he’ll never be mine, and that’s all I want.
Just one more minute. That’s all I need. One more minute of this.
As it turns out, one more minute is one minute too long, and darkness closes in on me. It pulls me down into a world where nothing stands between Romero and me, and I can have the only man I’ll ever love.
CHAPTER 35
ROMERO
The other side of the bed is empty and cold when I open my eyes to find it’s already morning. There’s a sense of confusion to it. I’m used to waking up next to her after falling asleep with her head on my chest.
She must have gone out of her way not to bother me when she left. Years of being on-call at all hours made me a light sleeper. Then again, she wore me out last night. I wore myself out on her. I’m glad one of us was smart enough to avoid the risk of her being here past dawn.
My eyes go from half open to almost bulging out of my head when I check my phone to find its way past dawn. More like nine o’clock. I was more exhausted than I knew – no wonder she’s already up and out. I can’t remember the last time I woke up this late.
Last I checked, I don’t have any shopping to do on Black Friday and it’s been weeks since I was last in my office. So, after a quick shower, I pull on jeans and a sweater and head out into the cold, clear morning to catch up on work. I’m sure Nathan left a mess for me to clean up.
Bianca told us last night about all her plans to decorate for Christmas, and Callum mentioned they’d start bright and early this morning. I don’t expect what I find already set up in the courtyard: three large trucks with the name of a local landscaping company printed on the side. Groups of men carrying trees, wreaths, and garlands into the house. A team of workers is setting up the strings of lights that will decorate the exterior, shouting orders and questions at each other while carrying what looks like miles of coiled cable over their shoulders.
How the hell did I sleep through their arrival?
Now I’m glad I came back, if only to see this. Callum has never been shy about spending his wealth, but this is insane. I’m looking forward to giving him a little shit about it — gently, of course, since I’m not entirely out of my mind. I might have made the questionable decision to come back and the even more dubious decision to fuck Tatum’s brains out last night, but I haven’t completely lost it.
Inside, Bianca stands on the stairs, directing traffic while balancing a tablet in one hand. “That tree goes in the dining room,“ she calls out, pointing the way. “Do you have the big one for here in the entry hall?”
“Still on the truck,” one of the men tells her, and she types something on her tablet before sighing heavily.
When she finds me amidst the chaos, she pretends to wipe the sweat off her forehead. “I can’t help but think this is how it felt when they were planning the invasion of Normandy.”
“I don’t think this many men were involved in that.” It feels good to share a laugh. It helps ease the uncertainty sitting on my chest. Nothing in the world could’ve stopped me from taking Tatum last night, though the guilt is right on schedule this morning.