Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
“It’s really good that you’re here.” I’m going to pretend there’s no extra meaning in her voice or the way she looks at me. It’s probably paranoia making me see what isn’t there. You know Tatum wouldn’t risk that. Yeah, but do I? Because I wouldn’t have imagined her risking a late-night visit to the cottage, either.
“I’m glad to be here. I’m going to go check in with the boss. Guessing he’s in his office.”
“Do you really think that much has changed since you left?” We share another laugh that makes me reflect on what life was like around here before she came to stay. I’ve overheard Tatum talking about how the house used to be decorated for the holidays when she was a kid and assumed Callum gave up the tradition once she was old enough to leave Santa behind. That he would even consider this sort of extreme, all-out chaos shows how he’s changed for the better, thanks to his wife.
I’ve changed, too. Instead of seeing nothing but headaches and distractions around me, I can’t help but smile. This is the first Christmas in years I haven’t felt a heaviness in my chest. The memories of so many shitty, depressing holidays have faded. There’s room for something better.
“Let me know if you need any help.”
She salutes me before calling out to the men carrying armloads of garland into the house. “That goes in the living room!”
I point the way before heading down the hall. It’s strange walking this familiar path. I could find my office with my eyes closed. I used to feel at home here. Like I belonged. Part of me was inextricably tied to this house, the compound, this life. Now, I might as well be a stranger again. I didn’t know until this moment that I really had no plans to come back. As much as I love my work… I’ve carried too much shit for too long. Too much guilt. Now that it’s time to let go of some. I can’t see myself ever getting the same satisfaction from my work with Callum. I want more, though I don’t know exactly what.
At first, I am confused by the raised voices coming from Callum’s office, with the noise already echoing through the house. It gets louder the closer I get, however. My heart beats faster and I pick up the pace.
What I find shouldn’t surprise me. This wouldn’t be the first time Tatum went toe-to-toe with her father – only there’s something off this time.
It’s him. The distress underneath the anger is so thick it practically sucks the air from the room. “This is unacceptable. I will not allow this.“ His voice trembles, telling me he’s beyond anger now. He’s enraged, red-faced and shaking. I’ve seen what he’s capable of when he’s enraged.
But he would never hurt her. That much, I know, though I can’t say the same for Tatum. She’s much more in control of herself than her father is, standing with her arms at her sides and her head held high. That’s probably what concerns me most of all. Usually, she’s ranting and raving, flushed, arms folded. Her calm, collected attitude shakes me. She’s in a dangerous, unpredictable mood.
Motherfucker. Does he know? Did she tell him? A cold, sick feeling grips me before I say, “What did I walk in on?”
I might as well be invisible. “You just got home,” Callum reminds her. Okay, so it’s not about us.
“This is your home. It can’t be mine forever.”
“Since when? Why are you doing this?” He throws his arms into the air. “What have I not given you? What else do you need? How am I supposed to keep you safe –”
“There’s a difference between keeping me safe and keeping me locked in a cage. I don’t want to live like this. I want something of my own. Can you understand that?”
It’s coming together. I shouldn’t be surprised. Not after the ranting and raving she did before Callum picked her up.
And dammit, even though it’s the last thing I should feel, I’m proud of her. Let her stand up for what she wants. I’d be disappointed if she rolled over and gave in to whatever Callum demands.
But I understand where he’s coming from, too. I know it all too well. I’ll never forget the sight of her in Amanda’s cold, dead arms. For a second there, I thought she was dead, too. We couldn’t keep her safe, either of us.
She doesn’t want to be part of this world, and I can’t say I blame her.
But I came back for her. And now she’s leaving, and for all I know, part of it has to do with me. She can’t be with me. And just like I did, she thought spending one more night together would put an end to us.