Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 164459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 822(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 822(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
“Why can’t you just leave me alone, like you did before?” I mutter.
“I never wanted to leave you alone.” He looks me over, leaning forward, as if to get a closer look. “Jenny, what in the hell happened to you? You can’t say this was all me. You know I loved you—and that I still love you. You didn’t start drinking and putting this guard up for nothing.”
I pull away from him. “Life happened, Drake. Reality finally got its hold of me and it fucking won.”
He blinks rapidly, looking me over. He stares down at my pants. “Why are you in pajamas?”
“I’m comfortable.”
“Do you want something better?”
I frown. “What do you mean? My pajamas are fine.”
“No, I mean, do you want better clothes? We can shop tomorrow. I’ll buy you whatever you want.”
I scoff. “You think you can buy your way back to my heart?”
“No. I think I should start doing whatever I can to make things up to you. Like me being here. You know I had to force answers out of your drunk best friend just to figure out what hotel you ran off to.” He pulls me closer. “I know I fucked up, Jenny. I know. All right? And I’m fucking sorry, but if you don’t let me try, how is that fair?”
I shrug, folding my arms and looking away. It’s not fair to him and I know it. I’m such a stubborn old cow now. God—what is wrong with me? I hate what I’ve turned into.
I used to be so lively and free.
I used to love so hard. I pretty much wore my heart on my sleeve.
But now?
The thought of what I’ve become ever since Drake’s disappearance brings the tears boiling to the surface. I stare down at my feet, fighting the emotion, but it’s impossible.
After tonight—seeing Drake again for the first time in years, holding that cross in my hands after so long, and then that altercation with Shane—I just can’t hold the waterworks in anymore.
I am so overwhelmed by it all.
I want to appear strong, but I’m not as strong as I seem. Inside, I am frail and broken and I need to be repaired. I wish Drake could fix me—mend me—but he’s done so much damage already. If he tries, he could end up making things much worse.
I don’t know where I’m going after I leave here.
I can’t go back to that room with Shane.
I don’t have any money for a hotel room of my own.
How is this my life now?
I sniffle and Drake takes a step forward. “Jenny?”
I don’t say anything. The words I want to say catch in my throat. I look up with hot, wet eyes. His face immediately changes, going from serious to sincere.
“Shit, Jenny. What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and wave my hands. “It’s nothing, Drake.”
“Fuck.” I hear him blow a breath. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he says, “You know what? I don’t give a shit if you put up a fight. You’re coming with me whether you want to or not. I can’t handle seeing you like this anymore. This shit isn’t you.” He turns and walks to the exit. We walk around the building and I spot Bill standing beside the SUV again.
I could resist, but I’d only be ruining things for myself. Drake wants to try? Fine. I’ll let him. But I can’t make any promises. The sad truth is I’d much rather be with the guy who broke my heart years ago, than a guy that wants to break me for his sociopathic pleasure.
Drake helps me into the truck, and then tosses my suitcase in the back. I can feel him looking at me as I swipe my tears away. They still haven’t stopped falling.
He reaches forward, stroking his thumb across my cheek to get rid of the rest.
“What happened to you, Jenny?” I hear him ask softly, and it breaks my heart even more because the truth is, Drake didn’t do all of this.
He didn’t exactly make me this way. I made myself this way by trying to put a guard up, after being hurt and let down one too many times by the people I love.
I did this to myself. My past has defined me, leaving no room for a better future. I’m afraid I’ll never get better, but with Drake sitting beside me, watching me, I think I can get the help I need.
The help I’ve wanted for years.
When I was down in the past, Drake was my pick-me-up. My everything and more.
Maybe, since he’s trying, I should too.
Maybe I should just stop this internal war.
The old Jenny Roscoe still dwells, she’s just been buried somewhere deep beneath thick, rotten layers. She needs to dig her way out and breathe again.
She needs to recover. And if she does, things will be a whole lot better.