Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 164459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 822(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 822(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
“He told me he could make something work soon. He had all of my videos on file, ready to send them to anyone that might consider bringing me into their cages. The first few days, no one wanted someone as ruthless as me. They told me I was too hardcore looking. One even said I looked like a ‘hell-bound deviant’.” He shrugs it off. “So we waited… and I worked. But I was still hurting. Still devastated. But I still came back to see you that night, because I needed to know how you were doing.
“I had this plan that I could take you with me wherever I went. You could go to a good college or something there, and do whatever you wanted to do. I showed up at your place, ready to make things right again, and then I saw that packet from Yale. You got accepted… and the whole idea of bringing you with me just blew up in my face, Jenny. When I saw that acceptance letter, I knew I couldn’t hold you back. I couldn’t do that to you because there was going to be even more distance between us and we probably would have ended up way worse than we did back then.
“I wanted to call so many times before I came to see you that night. I just… couldn’t. There were times when I stared into the mirror of the motel I was staying in, just looking at myself. Wondering how in the hell I got to where I was. I hated what I saw, and I couldn’t figure out what you saw in me. I couldn’t figure out what anyone saw in me, my grandmother included.
“I started to get angry messages from Flex since I wasn’t showing up for fights. He was losing money so he figured rubbing her death in my face would make me show up. It didn’t. Truth be told, I never wanted to come back. But I did for you, even when he called me things that broke me. I shouldn’t have let him get to my head, but he did. And one thing he said really got to me. You want to know what it was?”
“What?” I muster. I’m afraid to even ask. I remember how cruel his father was.
“He told me that I didn’t deserve you—that you needed better. That I was and never would be anything but a worthless, low-life, two-cent fighter.” He shakes his head, releasing a bitter laugh. “I couldn’t really wrap my head around Grandma Marie passing, and everything negative sank in with it like a sponge. I mean, I always knew her death was coming, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.
“Anyway, that night that you texted me and asked me to meet you, I happened to be between phone calls with Leo. Leo told me he might have some good news soon, but I didn’t get my hopes up because he always said that.
“I got your text, and I was coming, I swear. I was driving my truck to Fox River as soon as I got off my shift. But then Leo called me, and he told me I needed to meet him as soon as possible. I didn’t want to go so soon, Jenny, but he told me it would be my big break—he told me Kings wanted to see me in the cage as soon as possible. They loved my videos so much they scheduled a flight for me that same night.
“It was such short notice. I told Leo I couldn’t make it—that I needed to see you first. I asked him to make them reschedule, but they refused. They told me if I really wanted a spot in the Kingdom I had to prove my worth.”
“So it was prove your worth to them, over proving your worth to me?”
“No,” he responds, dropping his hands on the table. “Fuck, no. This was something I needed to do for us, but I swore to come back as soon as it was over. I got to the airport in a fucking bustle. I tried calling you dozens of times while I was there but had the spottiest connection. Every time I called, it would fail. When I landed, I finally had some sort of connection, but when I called your phone, it kept going to a dead-end voicemail. Your voice wasn’t there anymore. It was like you weren’t there anymore. I couldn’t get to you, Jenny. I tried Oscar and Kylie, but then Kylie told me you had already left for Yale. It all happened so fucking fast—shit,” he rasps.
“You could have come to Yale,” I say quietly. “Whenever you were free.”
“I thought about that.” His jaw ticks for a moment. “But I was stupid. I figured you needed space—that you needed time. I contemplated coming there, but we started traveling and training and the endless nights only made shit worse for me. I know that’s no excuse, but… I guess I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t know your number. Kylie said you changed it, but she refused to give it to me unless you told her to. I knew she was lashing out about Oscar too, but she wasn’t going to give it to me, either way.” He blows a breath through parted lips.