Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
I drop my forehead to the door and then bounce it against the hardwood a couple of times like that'll calm my ass down. "I'm done, Quan. I'm just fucking done with this shit."
"Michael, man, chill," Quan says, a warning in his tone.
But I don't listen. I'm too wound up to shut my mouth. "January's falling apart. Her grief is fucking killing me. I feel like I can't breathe here, and I'm just done with all of it. I hate this city and every motherfucker in it. I want out." I regret the words as soon as they leave my lips because they aren't what I mean at all, but it's too late.
January gasps from behind me.
"Fuck." I spin around to find her standing in the hallway. Her face is pale, her eyes stricken. Her hair is a wild mess. She's wearing one of Titan's hoodies. It's so big on her that it swallows her curvy body, hiding the pair of boxers I know she's wearing underneath it. Even grieving, she looks like a porcelain doll…more fragile than I've ever seen her before. The pained look she shoots in my direction guts me.
"January–"
"I'm going home," she whispers, the first words she's spoken in two days.
"Baby girl–" I take a step toward her, but she throws a hand up in the air, halting me in my tracks.
"Don't touch me," she says. There's something wild in her voice, in her eyes…something I've never seen there before. It's as close to rage as I've ever seen her come. She shuffles across the room to the front door, her arms wrapped around her body like she's trying to hold herself together.
"January, I didn't mean–"
She pushes past me without even looking at me and then storms outside, slamming the door behind her before I can explain that I didn't mean I was done with trying to be here for her. I meant I was done with watching her break while LAPD does nothing. I'm tired of knowing the motherfuckers responsible for her pain are still out there. I'm done watching people like Titan die because people like Kaleo think they can do whatever the fuck they want. I'm sick and fucking tired of the Kaleos of the world running shit while people like Titan and Jana suffer and die because of it. I want out of this fucking neighborhood, not out of our relationship.
"Fuck," I whisper, feeling like the world's biggest asshole.
"Go," Quan says.
I fling the door open before he even finishes speaking the word and jog outside after January. She's already across the yard, running up the steps to her house as fast as she can. Seeing her running from me breaks me in ways I can't even explain. She hasn't run from me since the first time she kissed me five years ago.
I race after her, my heart pounding so fast it feels like it's trying to beat its way out of my chest.
"Go away!" she yells at me when I burst through the door behind her.
"No." I stride across the living room toward her and try to pull her into my arms, but she fights me. "I'm not going anywhere, January."
"I hate you!" she screams, hitting me with those tiny fists.
Fuck, hearing that hurts like hell.
"Don't say that."
"It's true!" She pushes away from me, knocking me back a step. She glares at me, her face red and splotchy like she's been crying even though she hasn't been able to shed a single tear in a week. That same wild look is in her eyes, turning the emerald green dark and glassy. "You only care about yourself."
"January–"
"You think you're the only one who hates everyone? You're wrong! I thought I could pretend that I don't blame you, but I can't."
"What are you saying?" I ask, my stomach roiling as guilt crashes through me.
"I'm saying that my mom and brother are dead, and you're the one I blame. You're the one who got him involved in that fucking MC. You're the one who started all of this! Why did you drag me to Ma Lucia's instead of letting me stay with my brother? Why didn't you do something to stop Kaleo years ago instead of letting my brother walk out there to die?" She screams the words at me, each one hitting me like a bomb blast.
Guilt lashes at me, cutting deep. I stumble back a step, but that doesn't do a damn thing to stop it. I open my mouth to defend myself, but I can't because she's right, and she doesn't even know the worst of it.
She thinks she hates me now because I started the MC. How's she going to feel when she finds out that I knew he was in trouble? How's she going to feel when she finds out her brother was working with Kaleo because of me? That he started dealing because I was too goddamn scared to tell him about the money sitting in a trust fund?