Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
I feel someone's eyes on me as the truck draws near and turn in that direction.
My eyes lock with Cade's through the windshield, and my breath catches in my throat. He's seated in the passenger side of the truck, his gaze riveted to me like he can't look away.
I can't either.
Even with shadows clinging to him and ghosts dimming the vivid blue-gray of his eyes, he's so fucking beautiful. I think he tried hard to make himself something ugly—to make himself the monster he thinks he is. He covered himself in ink and scars as if they’d hide the way he hates himself. But every broken piece of him is fucking perfect to me.
Just seeing him again makes the last week and a half of stress—all those worries and doubts about whether I'm strong enough to face this—lie quietly for a minute. For the first time in a week, I feel like I can think through them, breathe through them.
Somehow, just being this close to him makes me feel braver, stronger…better. That’s the thing about the two of us. We were always stronger together. From the time I was four, he was my world, and I was his. Not even the hell we’ve been through has changed that. He’s my armor, and I’m his purpose. We’re endgame. We’ve always been endgame.
I lift my hand to wave, but he yanks his gaze away from me suddenly. As soon as those steely eyes aren't focused on me, a shiver rolls through me and I feel brittle once more. Sadness floats through me, welling up from within my soul.
Does he think I don't want anything to do with him? Has he decided he doesn't want anything to do with me?
There’s so much unsaid between us, things I couldn’t say last week. I wish I could have explained, could have told him that I was drowning, but in that moment, I didn’t want to be saved.
Is it too late to say them now?
"He loves you," Mariah whispers as if reading my mind. She reaches out to squeeze my fingers.
I bob my head in the semblance of a nod, fighting the urge to cry. She's right. I know she is. But I think Cade and I both have things we need to work through…things we need to face before we stand a chance of making this thing between us work.
And I do want to make it work. That hasn't changed, not once since I was a little girl. I've loved him through every important moment of my life. I'll keep on loving him through the rest of them.
But I need to focus on fixing me right now, so maybe it's a good thing he's keeping his distance. Maybe.
It still sucks, though.
"Are you sure you-?"
"Yes," I say before she can ask for the sixteenth time if I'm sure I'll be okay here. Even if it hurts, I will be okay. I know that now.
Eventually, Mariah caves and leaves me to my own devices, promising to call me later. I stand where I am, watching out of the corner of my eye when Cade hops out of his friend's truck and jogs up the steps toward Ma Lucia's house—his house. He keeps his head down, not looking in my direction.
Once he gets inside and the door closes behind him, I turn to look at the truck still idling on the curb. I frown when I notice the driver. He's big, like giant big, with dark hair and incredible hazel eyes. He's watching me, his eyes narrowed like he's deep in thought.
I've seen him around here before. He's been driving through the area for the last few years, keeping an eye on things, but I don't know who he is. A cop, I think. He certainly has that badass vibe to him like Cade does…like they're both more than capable of handling business.
Did Cade send him around to keep an eye on me?
The giant cop tips his head up in a nod, his lips curving up in an amused smile when my eyes narrow on him. I'm not even sure why I'm glaring at him. It's not like I don't appreciate him watching out for me or whatever he's been doing for longer than I honestly remember, but it would have been nice to know he was doing it.
He lifts two fingers in a wave and then pulls away.
I grab my overnight bag off the ground and head inside. The alarm beeps when I get inside and I have to drop my bag to disarm it. Cade never gave me the code, but he gave it to Mariah the night he sent her over here to check on me. I think it's supposed to be a random number—2793—but there's nothing random in what Cade does, so I'm sure it has some significance I don't yet understand.