Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 77717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
“Yes,” I say without thinking. “Well, maybe. I don’t know.”
“Are you and El—”
“We’re fine. Sorry,” I sigh. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. It just … I got accepted into vet school.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s fucking awesome, not bad.”
“It is awesome. It’s everything I ever wanted, only now I can’t go.”
“Why can’t you go?”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously,” he says. “Why can’t you go?”
“Because I’ll have a baby then!” I snap. I’m upset, but not with Noah. I shouldn’t take it out on him.
“Lots of people with kids go to school.”
“Not vet school. I can’t go. I’ll never go. Might as well give up.”
“Lauren, calm down. It’ll be okay.”
He means well, but I’m too emotional. “Stop acting like it’s not a big deal. Do you know how hard I’ve worked for this?” Tears run down my cheeks.
“You have worked incredibly hard. That’s why you’ll go. We’ll figure it out. I promise.”
I inhale, feeling guilty again. I run my hand over my face, the conflicting emotions starting to confuse me.
“I’ll leave soon and bring home something for dinner. Lay down and rest. It’ll be okay.”
I take a deep breath. “Thank you, Noah.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I want to help you. I’ll see you soon.”
I hang up and debate calling my mom. Though I almost would rather tell her I didn’t get in than to make her get excited and disappointed like I am.
“I’m not mad at you,” I tell Ella. “Not at all. Things … things are complicated.” I rub my belly and lean back on the couch. “We’ll figure it out somehow, little girl.”
An hour later, Noah comes home with Chinese takeout and a box of cupcakes. I so need this right now. He sets the food down on the coffee table, shoos away the dogs, and sits next to me. His arms wrap around me, pulling me in. I rest my head on his shoulder, inhaling deep, loving the way he smells like cologne and leather from his motorcycle jacket.
“I should be happy. Am I being dramatic?”
“You’re allowed to be dramatic right now,” he says with a chuckle. “And you, you’re not. It’s kind of complicated. Can you apply to vet school again next year?”
“I can, but there’s no promise I’ll get in again.”
“What about taking just one easy class your first semester.”
“It doesn’t work that way.” I pull away and open the cupcakes, sighing. “Everything I want is happening, just not in the right order. I had a plan, you know.”
Noah’s blue eyes meet mine. “Life doesn’t go according to plan.”
“You can say that again.” I peel the wrapper off the cupcake. “I honestly didn’t think I’d get in. Only like seventy people get into this program, you know.”
“Seriously, that’s it? You’re going then. If that’s what you want, we’ll find a way.”
I bite my lip. Dammit, I’m having second thoughts and already dread leaving Ella. Noah takes notice puts his hand on my thigh.
“Hey, you don’t have to make a decision right now.”
I bury my head against him. “I know.”
“I asked you before, but let me verify. You like your job now, right?”
“I do.”
“And part of why you wanted to be a vet was to make a better living.”
Is it horrible to admit that’s true? “Yes. But that’s not the only reason. I’ve always wanted to be a vet. Always, Noah.” I close my eyes, feeling something weird shifting around inside me … and no, it’s not Ella. It’s my priorities, what I hold dearest to me. “But right now I don’t know if I can do it.”
“School?”
“Leave Ella. And you.”
“Who said you’d have to leave us?” He beams down at me. I can’t speak. I can only kiss him.
Chapter 20
Noah
IF I EVER had a purpose in life, it’s to make Lauren happy. Making her happy makes me happy. I never believed in true love before, mostly because the one person I truly loved was someone I thought I could never have. But now that she’s here in my arms—literally most of the time—I know it to be true.
She’s still upset from yesterday, when she got her acceptance letter. I’ll admit it’s a weird situation. Getting into Purdue University’s vet program is a huge accomplishment. We should be celebrating right now, and she should be fucking proud of herself.
But she’s right: it’s going to be damn hard to do that and have a baby. We went over the schedule of classes, and that shit is intense. Though if anyone can do it, it’s Lauren. I don’t want her to give up on her dream of being a vet.
It was one of the first things she ever said to me.
We will make it work. I look around my office in the back of the studio. I like this place, love the location … but it’s not necessary. I could move. Easily. If not leaving Ella—and hopefully me—is Lauren’s main concern, she doesn’t need to worry.