Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 77717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
We’ll eventually end up back here. She told me her boss said she’d hire her in a heartbeat to be part of the practice, and I know Lauren wants to be near her family. Yeah, those four years she’s in school will be rough, but she can do it. We can do it.
She said she doesn’t want to think about it too much this weekend. We have the shower, after all.
I turn off my computer and pack up my camera. It’s Friday night and Lauren and I are going out to dinner. I plan to spend tomorrow packing up some stuff to move into Lauren’s house while she hangs out with her friend Rachel.
Reservations for dinner made, I get up and text Lauren to let her know I’m leaving. She’ll be out of work soon too. I lock up the studio, leaving through the back. A man gets out of a black pickup that’s parked next to my motorcycle. His eyes fall on me and my first instinct is to ignore him, not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment. I just want to get home to Lauren.
I can still feel his stare after a few paces, so I cast my gaze up. My eyes meet his and a shock of familiarity goes through me. It takes a second, but I recognize him as soon as he says my name.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I spit out, staring down my father.
He smiles, lines forming around his mouth. I freeze, mind racing with how to react. I’ve grown up to look like him, and it pisses me off. There is gray peppering his dark hair, and there’s a fucking wedding band on his left hand. Of course the bastard got remarried. Probably had a few kids too, completely forgetting about his firstborn.
“I guess I deserve that greeting.” He steps closer. “It’s been a while, Noah. Wow, you’ve grown.” He looks me up and down, nostalgia on his face.
I recoil. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I repeat.
“Heather—I mean your mother—called. She told me the happy news that I’m going to be a grandfather. Congrats, son.”
“I’m not your fucking son,” I retort, anger rising with each beat of my heart. My mom fucking called this asshole? After I specifically said I didn’t want him to know about Ella.
“Noah,” he says, frowning. “I see you haven’t changed.”
“How the hell would you know?” I want to punch him. Lauren, think of Lauren. I clench my fists and keep walking. “Do me a favor and never talk to me again.” I take a step toward my bike.
My father reaches out, hand landing on my shoulder. “Noah, come on now—”
“I have things to do.”
“This isn’t just about you anymore.”
I stop, whirling around. “It’s certainly not about you.”
“And what if your daughter wants to know her grandfather?”
I shrug. “I’ll tell her he’s dead. Because you are dead to me. You died when you left Mom and I for broke. You died when you got arrested for a DUI and I had to spend my eighth birthday at the police station. Get it? You dug your grave. Now leave me alone.”
He lets his arm fall. “You’re going to regret this one day.”
“Yep, go ahead with the threats. Just like old times. Might as well get drunk and hit Mom too.”
Without another word, I get onto my bike, rev the engine, and speed away. I’m seething with anger, nearly shaking I’m so fucking pissed. Just seeing Gerald’s face brings it all back: the disappointment, the hurt. Thinking everything was my fault, believing the lies he told me, hearing him say I was a burden and didn’t care.
It was so long ago, and yet it feels like that shit just happened. It freaks me out that parents can fuck up their kids’ lives years after they move out. What if I do the same?
Wind hits my face and I twist the throttle, pushing the bike over the speed limit. I’m not going to be like my asshole father. But, fuck, what if I am even if I don’t mean to be? What if I let Ella down, can’t be who she needs me to be? I don’t know how to be a parent when my own parents sucked. And look how it’s still affecting me.
“I checked the registry list and almost everything has been purchased,” Lauren gushes at dinner. We’re seated outside at a Mexican restaurant, taking advantage of what could possibly be one of the few warm nights in October. “So that means we can set up the nursery completely Monday!” She smiles and pats her belly. “Ella is moving so much right now. I’m getting excited about the birth now. Excited and terrified. The doctor asked if I had a birth plan, by the way. I don’t, other than ‘don’t die.’ That’s still my biggest fear. Well, second biggest. First is something bad happening to Ella.”