Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Sometimes even Lucien found himself questioning himself. He’d certainly had no intention of grooming or seducing Aksel, but he was older, and he should have set better boundaries between them.
Well, there was no use regretting his past mistakes. The important thing was not to make new ones. He was going to set very firm boundaries this time around. No more cuddles in bed. No more inappropriate touching. Aksel was the son of his deceased husband. Nothing more.
Though, he was probably overthinking it. Aksel had likely moved on with his life, his teenage fixation on Lucien long in the past.
Lucien’s stomach clenched. He told himself what he was feeling was relief. It had to be.
It had to be, right?
***
Hours later, Lucien was grading his students’ papers when there was a firm knock on the door.
Before he could respond, the door was pushed open.
Suddenly, the room seemed far too small.
Lucien could barely breathe. He could only stare at the man who’d entered the room.
Aksel.
He had expected Aksel to become bigger, of course, given his size at eighteen, but he wasn’t prepared for how much larger he would be. Mature. Older. A man, no longer a boy.
In hindsight, it had been silly of him to expect Aksel to look like a boy: after hitting twenty-five, alphas were at the peak of their physical maturity and remained physically unchanged until their fifties.
Aksel was no longer the youth that had left this house nearly eight years ago. He was a man, every inch a man. From the firm, square jaw covered in a well-groomed dark beard to the hardness of his blue eyes. His shoulders seemed ridiculously wide in his scarlet military uniform with two golden bands denoting his rank of captain.
God, he was so big. His height seemed even greater from Lucien’s seated position. Was this man the same little boy who’d once easily fit on Lucien’s lap? It was hard to believe.
Swallowing, Lucien finally found his voice.
“Aksel,” he whispered, getting to his feet.
Aksel was still, his eyes roaming all over Lucien with a strange expression. He clasped his hands behind his back. “You didn’t come to greet me,” he said. His voice was even lower now.
Wetting his dry lips with his tongue, Lucien tried to breathe shallowly. Even from a distance, Aksel’s scent made his brain fuzzy. It made him want to crawl to him. Crawl to him and rub his face all over his throat. That scent, God... He smelled like home. Like everything good and safe in the world.
“Royce said it wouldn’t be wise,” Lucien heard himself say, dragging his gaze away from Aksel’s tanned throat, the place where his facial hair ended.
“Royce said,” Aksel repeated in an odd tone of voice. “Do you consider him your alpha?”
The answer should have been yes. He should have considered Royce his alpha. Royce was the eldest son of the family. After the death of Garrick, he was the family alpha. But Royce had been on suppressants for as long as Lucien had known him, his natural alpha scent suppressed. He might be the head of the family, but he didn’t scent-mark his pack like alphas normally did. That was probably why Lucien didn’t see him as his alpha.
Liar, whispered a voice at the back of his head. Belinda and Vagrippa considered Royce their family alpha, regardless of his suppressants. He should have been no different.
“Royce has always been kind to me,” Lucien said. Hopefully Aksel would take his non-answer as an affirmative one.
Aksel walked forward. “He is kind,” he said, coming to a halt a palm’s width away from him.
Lucien inhaled shakily and then wished he hadn’t. It took everything in him not to make a keening noise like a confused animal in need. He wanted to be scent-marked, wanted to roll around in Aksel’s scent, wanted to stink of him, like he used to. That need clawed at his insides.
“Very,” he managed. “Kind.”
Aksel’s firm lips thinned. He just stared at Lucien for a moment that seemed to last an eternity.
“I wanted to apologize,” he finally said.
“Apologize?” Lucien repeated blankly, swaying toward Aksel and then straightening up again. It was a physical effort not to lean into Aksel, like a planet drawn toward its star.
“Yes,” Aksel said stiffly, his hands still clasped behind his back. “For what almost happened eight years ago.”
Lucien frowned. “It wasn’t your fault—you were young and—”
“Don’t,” Aksel bit off, looking pained. “I knew what I was doing. Even back then, as a teenager, I knew I was taking advantage of you—of your naivete, inexperience, and biological need to please an alpha.”
“But—”
“I knew exactly what I was doing, Lucien.”
Lucien opened his mouth and closed it, feeling lost. He still didn’t agree. He felt like Aksel was being too harsh on his younger self. But he didn’t know how to change his mind.