Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
He knew it was illogical. Sometimes, in his weakest moments, he allowed himself to imagine a life where he hadn’t been assaulted at fourteen. But in that hypothetical life, he would have been long married off to another alpha. He would have never come to know Aksel. They would have been strangers to each other. The thought was far more unsettling than anything that had happened to him.
After breakfast was finally over, Lucien tried to leave quickly. But a firm grip on his arm stopped him.
“A word,” Aksel said.
His stomach in knots, Lucien could only nod. He could hardly refuse when they were in public, after all.
He followed Aksel to one of the unused sitting rooms on the first floor.
“Is this about what happened last night?” Lucien said, wetting his lips with his tongue when Aksel shut the door. “Look, we both were tipsy and—”
“No,” Aksel said, his blue eyes pinning him in place. “It’s about what happened a year ago. You lied to me.”
Lucien’s heart started beating faster. “I don’t—I don’t know what you mean.”
Aksel took a step closer.
Lucien took a step back.
“You know exactly what I mean,” Aksel said, his voice deceptively calm, but his scent, thick and agitated, betraying his anger. He stepped closer and tipped Lucien’s chin up with his fingers. “Do you take me for an idiot? Last night, you weren’t disgusted at all. You were green with jealousy. Jealousy and possessiveness.”
Flushing, Lucien opened his mouth, wanting to deny that, but he knew it was useless. Aksel wasn’t an idiot. He wouldn’t be fooled by a lie.
“I’ve never denied my attraction to you,” he said, struggling to hold Aksel’s gaze. “But that’s all it is. Physical attraction.”
“You were jealous,” Aksel said, his hand on his chin sliding down and cradling his neck. “Admit it.”
Lucien shivered violently, barely suppressing the urge to lean into the touch like a starved thing. He was starved. Last night’s sex had only made him hunger for more. His body felt alive, every nerve focused on Aksel.
“I will admit no such thing,” Lucien managed. “But I can admit that it... bothers me that out of thousands of omegas, you chose my half-brother. Did you do that out of spite? I thought you were better than that.”
“No,” Aksel said with a humorless twist of his lips, his eyes boring into Lucien. “I chose him because I had no other choice. Thanks to you, all other omegas smell wrong to me. His scent is the only one I can tolerate.”
Lucien stared at him, his mind reeling. What Aksel was saying… it shouldn’t have been possible. Every alpha had dozens of compatible omegas out there. True mates were a myth. Right?
And yet, it was no different for him: all other alphas but Aksel had always smelled wrong. But he’d thought it had to do with the trauma in his past rather than… this.
“Lucien.”
Lucien snapped out of his confusing thoughts.
Aksel was gazing at him steadily. “My engagement to your brother wouldn’t bother you if you felt nothing for me besides physical attraction. You wouldn’t care. But you do. Tell me the truth. Tell me the truth now.”
Lucien looked at him helplessly. He was out of lies and half-truths. He couldn’t come up with anything more. “Just drop it,” he whispered. “Please. If you care for me at all, leave me be. Please, darling.”
Aksel glared at him with such force Lucien would have flinched if it were any other alpha.
“Don’t,” Aksel said. “Don’t you darling me. And don’t you dare use my feelings for you to get me to drop it. I won’t. Not this time. I need the truth, Lucien. Tell me why you really broke things off. Why you lied to me.”
Lucien’s shoulders slumped. Clearly Aksel wouldn’t leave the matter alone until he told him the truth. He had no other choice.
Dropping his gaze, Lucien crossed his arms over his chest and took a deep breath.
“Decades of strong suppressants ruined my reproductive system,” he said, looking at the top button of Aksel’s shirt. “I don’t even get regular heats anymore. My doctor thinks I’m infertile. Even if, by some miracle, I manage to get pregnant, I’m extremely unlikely to be able to carry to term. My womb is useless.” I’m useless.
There was a long, heavy silence.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Aksel bit out.
Frowning, Lucien looked up.
And flinched.
He’d never seen Aksel so angry. So livid. “You think I fucking care about your womb?”
Lucien flushed, starting to get angry too. “You don’t understand! An omega with a barren womb is defective! Useless! I’m even more ruined than everyone considers me to be! I’m nothing! A waste of space!”
All the anger seemed to suddenly drain out of Aksel’s body. He looked at Lucien for a long moment before stepping close and pulling him into his arms. He held him, just held him, without saying anything.