Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Before he slipped his key into the lock, he paused and listened. Soft music played from their apartment, and he imagined her dancing, and likely pouring them a glass of wine. Reid would’ve made or at least ordered them dinner, having it there by the time Grayson told her he’d be home. If this were a normal homecoming, they’d share a meal, and then he’d take her into the shower with him, unwilling to spend any more time alone. He’d make love to her there, using his height as an advantage when it came to shower sex. After the shower, he’d take her to bed, where they’d be a little freer with their lovemaking.
But this wasn’t a normal homecoming.
Tonight, they’d sit at the table, their wine going untouched, their food turning cold while he spilled his guts about his trip, who Nadia was, and how happy he’d been when he saw the girls for the first time and how heartbroken he’d been when he left them. Grayson had to find a way to express to Reid how none of this had anything to do with her and how it had everything to do with the heart he’d been given.
A heart he hadn’t asked for.
Before he turned his key, he closed his eyes and pictured Reid, loving and patient with him. In his mind, he saw her cry. Could feel her sadness, and he hated himself for what he was about to do.
He opened the door slowly. Reid was in the hallway and turned, her smile starting off slowly but spreading wide as they made eye contact, and then it dropped. She rushed to him, placing her hands on his cheeks and peering into his eyes.
“Grayson, what is it?”
He shook his head slightly and pulled her into a hug. As much as he tried to fight back the tears, he couldn’t.
“You’re scaring me,” she mumbled into his shirt. “Are you hurt? Do you need a doctor?”
“No,” he told her. A doctor couldn’t fix what was going on. Without turning, he reached back and shut their door, then took her hand and led her to the couch. He sat heavily, with a sigh, which released none of the tension he felt.
Grayson cleared his throat and held on tightly to her hand. “I need you to listen to what I’m about to tell you. I need to get this all out, and then I can answer all your questions and talk about everything. The first thing I want to say, though, is that I love you and can’t wait to be your husband.”
Reid smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. He couldn’t imagine what was going through her mind right now.
“Do you remember the day you went shopping with my mom?”
Reid nodded.
Grayson recounted his actions from looking online at obituaries, to expanding his search, to when he’d come across the article about Nadia’s husband—who she was to him, and how he’d gone and seen her.
Reid pulled her hand away from his.
“You went and saw her?”
He nodded as tears welled.
“Did you . . .” Reid swallowed hard. “Ch-cheat on me?” She could barely get the question out without losing her voice.
His eyes went wide and his body rigid. “What? God no, Reid.” Grayson moved closer and reached for her. “I am so in love with you. You’re my whole world and the reason I am here today. If it wasn’t for you . . .” He trailed off. He often thought about that day. He didn’t remember everything from it, but Reid had told him the story and how she’d planned to start dating because she needed to move on from the limbo she’d been in where Grayson was concerned.
“Nadia’s an ex, nothing more. When we went off to college, that was it. I never pined over her or tried to win her back. I’ve only ever loved one woman in my life, aside from my mom, and that’s you, Reid.”
She looked at him and said nothing.
“I went there. I stood where Rafe died, hoping to experience or feel something that would ease the feeling in my chest. When I saw her, my heart didn’t soar like it does when I see you. It was like seeing an old friend who, if I hadn’t seen her, I wouldn’t have missed, if that makes sense.”
“A little,” she said.
Grayson inhaled. “When I saw her daughters . . . his daughters, everything shifted. I wanted to cry, to weep, as if I’d experienced the most profound loss of my life. This”—Grayson put his fist over his heart—“space is yours and theirs. I can’t explain it, other than what Dr. Littleton said about cellular memory. My heart—his heart—misses those little girls.”
“You don’t even know if you have this man’s heart, Grayson.” Reid got up from the couch and went into the kitchen. Grayson gave her a minute and then followed. He stood, leaning against the wall.