Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 104745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104745 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
“Do you have a bathroom I can use?”
Karris smiles. “Sure. It’s that second room on the right.”
“Gotcha.” I wink, taking long strides to the tiny bathroom, locking the door behind me, cookie still in my hand.
The white shower curtain matches the white curtain that’s blowing in the breeze over the window, like a flowing bridal veil.
As I’m taking a piss, I survey the window and its height off the ground; its width.
No screen.
No screen? Doesn’t seem safe, but whatever—not my business.
“Don’t go out the window,” I say out loud. “Don’t be that guy.”
But I am that guy.
Drew might not be the type of dude that ghosts a chick by dropping out her bathroom window, but I fucking am. As soon as I zip my fly, I’m thrusting the windowpane as high as it can go and sticking my leg through, guesstimating how high off the ground I’ll be when I drop down.
A few feet maybe?
“Wait. You climbed out the window?”
I nod.
“Why didn’t you just go through the front door like a normal person?”
Because I forgot that I’m not actually my polite, courteous twin brother. I’m the bad one.
The one who causes trouble and does stupid shit without thinking.
“Eh. I saw the window, and it felt adventurous.”
“You don’t think it was rude to cut out like that?”
For sure, I knew it was rude. “I wasn’t thinkin’ about it at the time. I was thinkin’ about my own survival.”
Daisy rolls her eyes. “You’re so dramatic.”
“Most of the time, yeah.”
Except Drew isn’t dramatic at all, and I keep forgetting what I’m here to do; find him a girlfriend.
Him, not me.
Only.
Daisy makes me forget myself.
“Wait. Did you have the cookie when you climbed out the window?”
“Of course.”
“What’d you do with it?”
“Sat in my truck and ate it.”
“You ate the cookie?” Daisy’s eyes are wide as saucers.
“I had to at least try it.”
“Okay, but what if it had been poisoned?”
“Her aunt made them. I highly doubt she would have purposely poisoned her own niece.”
“So? How do you know this girl didn’t do something to it when she was waiting for you to stop by for the date?”
I shrug. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”
Daisy throws her arms in the air, exasperated. “Fine. You win. She didn’t poison you.”
“Nope. Still here.”
“But she could have.”
“But she didn’t.”
Her mouth opens.
Closes in the most guppy-like way.
“You don’t have a single bad date horror story?” I question. “How is that possible?”
“Drew—not everyone is out to get me the same way they’re out to get you, apparently.” She laughs. “Some of us aren’t the hottest commodity on campus.”
I nod ’cause it’s true.
“You’ve never gone on a date and had the guy’s best friend show up, too, and sit at the end of the room and watch?”
Daisy pulls a face. “Uh. No. Where would you come up with that scenario?”
Easy. “I’ve had buddies show up for dates, and the chick brought along friends, who sat nearby and watched.”
Her mouth falls open. “Are you being serious?”
“Yeah, dead serious.”
She dabs at her mouth with a napkin. “Well, like I said—I’m not a hot commodity like you. Some of us are normal people.”
“I’m normal.” Mostly. “Besides, what does normal even mean anymore?”
“Everything is normal, and normal is everything,” Daisy muses, chicken wing hanging from her mouth like a cheap cigar. She pretends to puff it.
Have I ever met anyone as funny and cute as her?
I rack my brain, thinking back to all the dates I’ve ever been on, and all the women I’ve casually fucked in my lifetime and cannot think of one single young woman who stands out in my mind. Granted, it’s possible I just wasn’t paying it attention ’cause relationships haven’t been my focus.
So would I have noticed if someone came along, and she had all the qualities I was looking for—had I been looking?
The girl next door is doing her best to be that memorable person in my life, bless her heart—I do not see her that way and never will. If I had, I wouldn’t have been boning her in the first place. I would have taken her for dinner and to the movies and shit.
Seems like now I’m gonna have to spell it out for her. Shannon is getting a lil’ too familiar and a lil’ too aggressive, marching over to stake her claim on me in public when she has no right to do that.
Fucking embarrassing.
Who the hell does she think she is?
This is the shit that happens when friends with bennies takes a turn, and bedmates don’t stay in their lane. Yeah. She has obviously caught feelings.
I didn’t consider this a problem until Shannon made it one, showing up while I’m on a date, accusing me of being me when I’m here pretending to be my brother.
The nerve.
eighteen
daisy
I had a great time with you last night but hold up: don’t get too excited, that does not mean I want to see you again.