Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 55375 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 277(@200wpm)___ 222(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55375 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 277(@200wpm)___ 222(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
“How so?” I ask.
“She’s had a hard life, too. She’s outrunning demons of her own, but the difference is, I’ve had twenty more years to process it. I’ve asked her if she’s sure, and she says yes. But what does sure mean with something like this? How can she be sure when she has nothing else to compare it to? I don’t want to… I can’t take advantage of her.”
“To me, it doesn’t seem like you’re doing that,” I say, thinking of Jacob, the night we shared, how he led the way at first, and then I took charge. It’s not fair to use Dad’s attraction to his woman as justification for what we’ve done. However, fair or not, I can’t ignore it. If anything, it means Dad would understand just a little bit, right?
“I know you,” I go on. “You’re a good person. You’d never hurt anybody.”
“I’d never hurt her,” he says passionately, as if the idea is unthinkable. “But what if I hurt her somehow just by being together? What if she regrets wasting her early years with me?”
“Have you talked about it?” I can’t keep the anger out of my voice. “About the future? About what she wants?”
“All the time.” He gets a faraway smile on his face. “She tells me she’s ready for a life together every time. She wants to meet you.”
“I’d like to meet her,” I say.
“Really?”
“You don’t have to be so surprised. I’ve never seen you like this. I want to meet the magic woman who can make you look like an excited teenager with a crush.”
He rolls his eyes, but he can’t keep the smile from his lips despite everything. “She’s really special, but that doesn’t make what I did okay. I never should’ve left.”
“It was like you weren’t even in charge,” I say, reading him. “It was like your love was deciding for you.”
“That makes me sound like one sappy old man,” he says, “but yeah, that’s the truth right there. When I was walking through that snow, I wasn’t thinking. I couldn’t think about anything except for her.”
We don’t say anything for a while, giving me time to reflect on the wild idea that the blizzard somehow cast a spell on us: Dad, Angelica, Jacob, and me. It stopped us from reflecting too closely on what we were doing and the paths we were taking.
“I might be jealous,” I say. “That sounds like an amazing relationship.”
Dad smiles, still with that semi-suspicious look in his eyes. It’s like he’s constantly searching me, probing for weak points. He also must know he can’t push me too hard, considering what he’s just revealed. Still—a best friend, a younger girlfriend—they’re not the same. It’s still a betrayal. I’m justifying my bad actions.
“Are you okay?” Dad asks, his smile dropping.
“Yeah, fine,” I say. “Why?”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” When I don’t say anything, he says, “I know this is a lot, but trust me. Jacob will find a way out of this. You wouldn’t doubt it if you knew some of the stuff he’s done.”
“Like what?” I ask, eager for any morsels of Jacob.
“By my last count, he’s saved the lives of three thousand and twenty-two children. He’s put himself in harm’s way more than most men could ever imagine. He’s even sent some trafficking rings running from any area he visits. Jacob will make these evil bastards regret coming for us.”
“I know,” I whisper, believing more than Dad understands. It’s not just his achievements that let me know Jacob will always protect me. It’s the look he gets in his eyes when he says he will keep me safe—me and, maybe, the baby growing inside me.
Shut up, I scream in my mind. My thoughts are skipping so absurdly into the future.
“Should I cook those steaks for dinner?” I ask.
“That would be nice, but I think I should cook for you.”
I stand, unable to bear his eyes on me anymore. Going into the kitchen, I take the steaks from the fridge so they’re room temperature when I’m ready to start cooking. Then I walk outside onto the porch. I can’t see my man, but I call up to him, “Jacob?”
His gruff voice comes back. “Yeah?”
“How do you like your steak?
“Bloody,” he says with a dark edge.
Of course, that’s how he likes it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
JACOB
I’ve got the tablet open next to my plate. The screen splits into all the security feeds, so there’s no chance of anybody sneaking up on us. It gives me an excuse not to be present at the meal, meaning I don’t have to exist in the awkwardness between us three.
Even so, it’s difficult not to look up at Emma, so appealing in her hoodie, her hair messily tied up, some strands loose as if she’s waiting for me to smooth them back into place. She hasn’t said anything about my mom, but I can feel her wanting to dig deeper, feel my woman wanting to make it right. With Mike there, it’s impossible.