Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 104448 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 522(@200wpm)___ 418(@250wpm)___ 348(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104448 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 522(@200wpm)___ 418(@250wpm)___ 348(@300wpm)
That was ridiculous, of course. I wouldn’t move back to Texas for all the money in the world—not that I needed money. Being so close to my parents geographically would make their absence in my life unavoidable. And if I already felt their blame and disapproval from this far away, I couldn’t imagine how suffocating it would be if I was back in Dallas.
Not that Tully would want me there anyway. He was more likely to join my parents in shunning me.
As I worked, I let the thoughts and feelings hit me without trying to dismiss or brush them off. My friends had forced me into therapy after Matt died, and I’d learned the best way to get through grief and pain was to let the emotions come, but I had to admit I didn’t always feel capable of it.
It might work… but it was sure-as-shit uncomfortable.
After finishing my chores, I told Indigo I was heading to the main ranch house for a bit to talk to Silas before coming back to help feed the rest of the stock. It was early enough that Lellie was probably still asleep, but I knew Way and Silas would be up.
I took the utility vehicle down the dirt track to their place, imagining the thousands of times Fletchers had traveled the same path between home and the main barn. When I arrived, Way and Silas were on the front porch drinking coffee.
Silas took one look at me and turned to whisper something in Way’s ear. Way nodded, waved to me, and headed inside.
“You didn’t have to send him away,” I said after joining him on the porch.
He ignored my comment. “You want coffee?”
I raised my travel mug. “Just refilled it before coming over.”
“You finally going to explain what’s going on with the hottie?”
I kept my eyes trained across the land I’d just driven over. The large bulk of the old barn was visible through a stand of trees in the distance. “We hooked up.”
“Last night?”
“No, I mean…” I realized that was a lie. “Well, yes. That, too.”
Silas quirked an eyebrow.
I took a sip of coffee and savored the flavor before swallowing. “Two years ago. When I was in town to help Katie get pregnant. She had a party. He was there. We hooked up.”
Silas nodded. “Okay. Is it making things awkward? Is that the problem?”
I shrugged. “It’s definitely not making things easy,” I admitted.
“Ah,” Silas said knowingly. “You have feelings for him.”
I looked out again, this time glancing west toward the triple peaks of Three Daughters. This land was so beautiful, so peaceful, it still stole my breath sometimes. “Big feelings,” I finally said.
His eyebrows lifted. “Wow. I can’t believe you just admitted that out loud.”
I glanced at him and let a smile tug at my lips. “Me neither.”
“You must really need advice,” he teased.
I simply nodded.
Silas took a breath. “Dev, last year, when I came here after Way… I thought I had it all figured out. I had my career, my friends, my home back in New York. Above all, I had my pride. I was in control.”
I let out a soft snort.
Silas grinned and pointed at me. “Exactly. That’s exactly right. I didn’t have anything under control because the minute I met that sexy cowboy at a bar in Vegas, my future was suddenly and irrevocably out of my hands. And everyone knows I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
“My situation is hardly the same. It’s not like Tully is my… Waylon.”
“Who says he’s not?”
“For one, he lives in Dallas.”
Silas flapped his hand dismissively. “I lived in New York. Apparently, there’s such a thing as a cross-country move.”
I shook my head. “Not for this guy. His identity is all wrapped up in making partner at a big-city firm. He does trusts and estate law. It’s not like there’s work for him in Majestic. And you know I won’t go back to Texas.”
He shrugged. “I never thought I’d move to rural Wyoming, but never say never, right?”
“He’s also angry with me about the custody thing. He thinks I should keep Lellie.”
Silas’s gaze sometimes felt like a boat anchor. “We all think that.”
I opened my mouth to argue with him, but he held up a hand to stop me.
“Don’t,” he said. “It’s a load of bullshit, and we both know it. I get that you’re still mourning Matt’s death. It was awful. But it was an accident. And the idea that you might let an accident keep you from giving Lellie the most loving future possible pisses me the fuck off. You want to know why? It’s not even because I care about her, though I do. It’s because I care about you. And I know you need that girl of yours. You need her to teach you how to be a family again, how real families are supposed to be. How true parental love is unconditional.”