Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 55765 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55765 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
I glimpse myself in the mirror as I walk down the hallway. I look like a scared young man, but scared of what? Afraid I’ll go back to the person I was before? Only a couple of weeks ago, I was planning on blackmailing Lukas and abandoning Ashley. What was wrong with me? Did I ever really have that in me?
As I make the coffee, I think about the fact I love Kayla. I said it before as a sick way to manipulate her, but I think it’s true. I won’t say it for a long time. I want the rest of our lives to be filled with genuine things. Maybe Dad was a monster. Maybe Mom was an enabler. That doesn’t mean I can’t be a good person.
I told Kayla to find somebody else, and she agreed, but I had to come here when she texted me last night. I felt like there was a force drawing me closer to her. Not to be dramatic, but I felt like I’d be hollow for the rest of my life if I didn’t come.
Carrying a tray of coffee into the living room, part of me hopes they’ve already told Kayla all of it. I can tell from the tense way they’re all sitting that they’ve been waiting for me.
“So you two are an item,” Kayla says, leaning forward.
When Lukas charged at his business partner, saving my sister’s life, he was terrifying. He didn’t even look human. The sound he made was beastlike. He roared, leaped clear over Ashley like an NFL player, and crashed into Sebastian like an MMA fighter. Now, he looks like an ordinary man, face tight with emotion.
“You did the right thing again,” he says, looking at me.
“Finn hasn’t told me anything,” Kayla snaps. “But he knows, doesn’t he? I asked him, but he didn’t want to betray you. I know he knows. Heck, Dad, it’s not like it takes a rocket scientist to figure it out. You’ve been looking at each other, and why else would you want to meet me alone?”
Maci stands up. “Kay, I’m so sorry—”
Kayla raises her hand. “You can stay over there, please.”
I wonder if they can see past her cold exterior to the emotion beneath. I wonder if they can see how difficult this is for her. I almost reach over and lay my hand on hers. My mind fills with poetry, composing like a subconscious track.
A quote comes to me. They knew they’d be forever broken, knew nothing would ever be the same, but when the cicadas heralded that lonely car down the night-sad road, foolishly, they let themselves believe there was a chance. That’s from a book Maci’s dad wrote. I started reading it last night.
“Explain,” Kayla says, then looks at me. “All of you.”
None of us holds anything back. We all understand that Kayla deserves the truth. They tell her about getting intimate in the pool, trying to fight their desire, and then reuniting and going to the spa behind her back. Lukas speaks in a grave, low voice as if he already knows he’ll have to end this relationship. I can tell how much it would hurt him.
Maci sits at his side, arms wrapped around herself. It’s weird. I couldn’t say how, exactly, but I know she’s fighting with every single sinew not to reach over and touch Lukas. It’s like I can feel their love emanating in the air. I wonder if they’ve said it yet. I love you.
“So it’s been, what, a month?” Kayla mutters. “And you’re already so serious?”
“Who said they were serious?” I ask, genuinely curious.
Kayla looks at me, and some of the fire drains from her eyes. That’s a relief because I care about her. I also meant what I said when I told her she was too kind. Maybe it’s her upbringing. Maybe it’s the money. Or maybe it’s just her pure soul. Whatever it is, if she lets me stick around, I will spend the rest of my life making sure nobody ever takes advantage of it.
“They don’t need to say,” she snaps. “Just look at them, Finn. Just listen to the love in their voices.” She sniffles, and I can’t hold myself back anymore. When I take her hand, she squeezes onto me gratefully. A slideshow of deceit plays in my head. I wonder if I’ll ever stop hating myself—if I’ll ever deserve to. “What is this?” She turns back to them. “A fling? A marriage in the making? What?”
Maci is holding back tears, tightening her hold around herself. Lukas rests his forearms against his knees, and I know he’s finding it difficult not to comfort his lady.
“A marriage in the making,” Lukas says. Kayla’s hand tightens against mine. “The truth is, Kayla, if it didn’t mean breaking your heart, I would’ve proposed to her the first time I saw her.”