Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
“Oh, nothing. I’m just happy to be home.” I turned my head to look at my best friend. “Sydney, I feel like going out on the town.”
“Um, really?” She looked around at the others, but I wasn’t about to let anyone stop me.
“Yeah, really.”
“Okay, where are we going?”
“Casa Vega.”
“Are you sure?” I could feel the tension in the room and knew where it was coming from. It used to be me and Ryder’s favorite spot. I haven’t been to any of the places we usually liked since he left me, but now I think it’s time. It’s time I took my power back. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
Chapter 20
*Elena*
“What the heck has gotten into you?”
“What do you mean?” I looked up from my plate to find Sydney staring at me as if I had two heads.
“What do I mean? Chicklet, when I took you to that place, I was almost certain that we were about to lose you in the not-too-distant future. Now here you are, acting like that shit never happened, and you’re living your best life.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I am here for it, but what the hell happened to you in there.” If I told her the truth, she’d freak. I can’t even believe it myself, or more to the point; I’m finding it hard to accept. But ever since I felt Ryder’s presence in that room, it’s like I have a new lease on life.
“Isn’t that the point? Wasn’t I supposed to get better?” She looked stumped by that one, and I was able to go back to my enchiladas in peace. I wanted a margarita in the worst way but knew it wasn’t a good idea, not with all the medication I was taking. Though according to the tabloids, I was on a bender every other night. The fuck do they know? Lying asses.
“All the same, I’m happy. And I’m sure your friends are as well; you’re even back to signing autographs and waving at the paparazzi. I bet that threw them for a loop.” I just shrugged my shoulders as if unbothered, but the truth is, I was quivering inside.
I wasn’t planning on sharing my new idea with anyone, not yet, anyway. This is something I have to do for myself. I don’t want to live a lie anymore; I don’t want to pretend for the cameras because my life is not make-believe.
I went from drowning in sorrow to feeling sorry for myself, which are two entirely different things. One is understandable, given what I’d been through, but the other is just plain dumb. I have nothing to feel sorry about.
I live a life most people could only dream of; well, the ones who don’t know the dark truth about this industry anyway. And even there, I’d lucked out. I’m one of the lucky ones who never crossed the line into losing myself for more fame and more money.
It wasn’t a hard choice to make. I wasn’t raised that way. I was raised with morals and ethics and a belief in something more. So I saw them coming, though it was almost too late by the time I realized. Thankfully my family has always been around me, so they were able to see the signs as well and pull me out in time.
It’s cost me some things, but I can live with that as long as I get to keep my soul. I got a chill down my spine at the thought of him and the danger he’d been in before the incident. The danger I’d tried to warn him about but was too late.
I think that was one of the reasons it hit me so hard and why I’ve been suffering for so long. It’s like Sophie’s Choice, knowing that he was still back there in that mess and seeing the toll it was taking on him. No, I won’t let myself be dragged back there again, not even in my thoughts.
Accepting that I will always love him was the first hurdle I had to jump; now, learning how to live with that knowledge and move on is where I’m at. So I’m going to make my way back to the person I used to be one day at a time, and do what I’ve always done, hope for the best for him.
“What are you thinking about so hard?”
‘Who says I’m thinking about anything?”
“You’ve had your fork hanging in suspension for the last minute or so.”
“I was just thinking; I should call my agent; it’s been a while.” Now she was the one dropping her fork.
“Seriously? You’re ready? Are you sure?”
“Yes, it’s time. I feel like being busy again. I have a lot of time to make up for. But first, I think I will take the doctor’s advice and go on a nice vacation. I’m thinking the Mediterranean.” I propped my cheek on my hand and looked across the table at her smiling face.