Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
“As to going home, I’d like to suggest a vacation, a change of scenery, just for a little while.” He looked at me expectantly, not at all like the pushy doctors I’m accustomed to. Sydney had chosen this place, almost as if she’d had it waiting in the wings.
That’s my best friend; she’d know the signs and prepare. I wouldn’t have thought of coming all the way out here, and going to a place close to home would’ve only freaked me out more than I already was. I can’t imagine the paparazzi hounding my every step while I’m dealing with this.
Of course, I expected some of them to follow me out here, but at least it wouldn’t be all of them. I nodded my head at the doc, and he gave a relieved smile. “Good, now do me a favor, and don’t let those vultures out there know where you’re going when the time comes. You need less of them and more of the sun.”
I was feeling better already, just contemplating a few days in the sun, away from everything. Of course, I can’t ever outrun my mind, but maybe a change of scenery was just the thing I needed to get my feet back on solid ground. “So, when can I go?”
“How about later in the afternoon? You make your arrangements; the fewer people who know, the better. You have my card. If you need me anytime, don’t hesitate to call.”
“I will, Doc, and thank you.”
“You know, I hate that we met under these circumstances, but I can’t deny the pleasure of having met you. You’re going to be fine, kid. Just do those exercises you learned here and try not to be so hard on yourself. You’re young, you’re successful, and more importantly, you’ve got a good heart. Try not to bruise it too much.”
We shared a laugh before he left the room after a few more instructions for after my release, and I made a few phone calls to get things ready for me to get out of there. All day as I sat in the room staring out the window, I kept thinking about him, feeling him, and trying to understand why I felt his presence so strong now when I hadn’t in years.
Sydney already had everything in place for me to get out of there without being seen. I’ll have to send her mom and dad a great gift to thank them for their rescue and the way they took care of me after picking me up in disguise.
We made it to the airstrip without incident, and I breathed a sigh of relief only when the plane was in the air. Being back in LA felt strange. For the first time, it didn’t feel like coming home. There was no underlying excitement and no wish to be here. I think the awe had worn off. I was over this place.
I didn’t feel any joy walking into my home, a home that I had loved on sight. I felt bereft and a bit edgy and, somehow, detached. I’d learned a lot about myself in that place. I’d even found strengths I didn’t know I had.
While everyone was fussing over me and asking how I was doing, I kept a smile on my face, but in my mind, I was planning for the next phase of my life. I looked across the room at my mom, the woman who’d worked so hard to get me where I am because, let’s face it, without her, I’d have never been able to follow my dream.
I’d done her a disservice; I’d basically shitted on all her hard work. “Why are you looking at me like that, Elena?”
“I love you, mama.” I got up and walked over to where she was sitting, and climbed into her lap. “I love you too, baby.” She kissed my head, and I almost cried.
All the way here on the plane, my mind had been working, and I didn’t like what I saw about myself. Yes, my heart was broken, and yes, it had been done on the world stage, but so what? Others had suffered the same pain and were able to bounce back.
I had to remind myself of where I’d come from and all that I had accomplished with hard work and perseverance. Me, I’d done it. I’d pushed myself to follow through with everything I signed my name on because I didn’t want to be seen as less.
Even on days when all I wanted to do was stay inside and laze about, I’d made it to the set at five a.m. and sometimes earlier. And here I am, after all of that, letting some nepo babies take me down. My ancestors must be rolling in their graves.
“I’m not sure I like that look on your face Elena; what in the world are you thinking about?”