Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135517 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
So, her little stunt was a two-edged sword. On the one hand, it was giving me hope that she was in a better place now. A place where she felt comfortable enough to use our code to send me a message that the whole world could hear. Of course, the fact that only we two understood made it all the more special, but the message itself is for shit.
She’s moving on with her life! My ass. I could hear the nosy ass public now, egging her on to go find true love and all that other bullshit. Well, she’s already found true love in me, and if her fans encourage her in this shit, they’re going to get her ass kidnapped. Then nobody is going to be getting new music or new TV shows with her in it or any of the other shit she’s been up to.
It’s these thoughts that are keeping me from writing a song that won’t get me locked the fuck up for life. There’re too many things going on inside of me for me to calm down and write something that doesn’t come across as angry and vindictive.
Of course, I have to keep reminding myself every few seconds that I’m the one who got us in this predicament though it was through no fault of my own. All that does is send me off on a tangent where I’m mad at the whole world and the creator for letting this happen to me, to us.
But there’s no one to fight, and my hands are tied in so many ways, but I can’t lose her. I just can’t.
I needed to get it across to her that I was trying to find my way back to her, but it was hard when things were still so unsettled. I hadn’t called anyone since the night I left the stage, and that was months ago. I’d read some reports that said I was in rehab, which I guess was Matt and Scott’s doing, and Reggie was keeping me up to date on what they were doing.
I’d met him not long after coming up here and took over from mom, who was under strict instructions not to contact me just in case her phone was tapped or they had some other way of keeping tabs on her.
It’s because I’ve seen them in action that I knew to look out for these things; plus, the more my memory returns, the more I realize that some of the things I’d brushed off in the past as hallucinations or misplaced memories were actually legit.
I’m still working on piecing things together because it’s still convoluted, but I’m getting there, bit by bit. I spent most of my time writing an answer to her bullshit song that was now climbing the charts and trying not to lose my mind each time I saw her name mentioned with some other guy.
She’d moved on from the Evan creep, and now her name was being linked with some other piece of shit who thought he had the right to be by her side. The one good thing I had going for me was the fraction of fans who were still rooting for us to get back together. Those people seemed to have a pretty good handle on things and have been doing some investigating on their own.
It begs to reason why my soul mate couldn’t see through this bullshit the way some of them did. I now know why I’d run off in a snit and married the most annoying woman on the planet, but I’m still not sure of the why behind the whole scheme, but I’m convinced that that’s exactly what it was. A scheme that someone I trusted had concocted behind my back for some reason that I’m sure had nothing to do with good intentions.
I can’t trust anyone except Elena. But I’d fucked that up royally, so there was no way I could ask her for help. I do have memories of her trying to warn me about something, but that’s when everything went to shit.
I’d always regret letting her get on a plane with those vipers, and heaven knows I wish I could take them all out. Everyone that had a hand in hurting her, in tearing us apart, and destroying what it had taken us almost a decade to build.
Reggie had gone back to L.A. to do some more digging in search of answers, but there was no guarantee on how long that would take, and I knew I’d have to make a move soon. I have no idea, though, how to get myself out of this mess. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to stay married to Janie. I just have to come up with a way to get the hell away from her and her crazy family and that Mary bitch, who I was sure was behind this somehow or had a hand in it without losing everything that I’d worked for.