Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
“Sorry for what, Slater? For getting into it with Lincoln, or for being a shitty boyfriend. Because you’re doing a fantastic job at both right now.”
“Fuck me,” I mutter. “Why don’t you just jump right in?”
She stops wiping the blood from my face. “I’ve seen you twice in the last week. If you think I don’t know something is going on, then you underestimate me. Are you going to tell me what it is, or should I guess?”
“Nothin’ is goin’ on, Ellie. I’m working.”
“Liar,” she spits, dropping the cloth. “You’re not working at all. I went into your work yesterday and they told me you weren’t in today. So where in the hell were you, Slater Knight? Because I’m not stupid, I know exactly what it is you’re doing...”
“And what is that?” I bark.
“Who is she?”
I blink, stunned, and then shake my head. “What?”
“I said who is she?” Ellie cries, throwing her hands up. “You think I don’t know that you’re cheating on me?”
“I’m not fuckin’ cheating on you, Ellie,” I growl. “I’m not that kind of man. I can’t believe you think I am.”
“Then what in the hell are you doing? Because whatever it is. You’re keeping it from me, because you know I won’t like it.”
“It’s better if you don’t know. It’ll all be fine soon, I promise.”
She shakes her head, looking at me with those disappointed eyes.
“I never thought you’d keep anything from me...”
“You just have to trust me.”
“Trust you?” she screams. “I barely fucking see you. You won’t tell me where you are. Who you’re with. And you want me to trust you? No. Slater. That isn’t how it works. I’m your girlfriend, though you seem to have forgotten that lately. I don’t deserve this!”
She turns and storms out the door.
I watch her go, no words leaving my mouth.
I’m not only stunned that she swore at me, because I’ve never heard her swear, but that she walked out on me.
And I know I deserve it.
I am lying to her.
But I’m doing it because I want to keep her safe. Because I don’t want anything to happen to her. Because I love her so damned much it hurts.
But how in the hell do I tell her that?
~16~
NOW – ELLIE
The morning comes like a cold and brutal slap to the face.
I slept with Slater.
I had way too much to drink, and then there was that nightmare - and he was there, and he made me feel so safe and warm, and he smelt so good, and one thing led to another and I let it happen. I wanted it to happen. But it was not healthy, or good, for either of us. Because he’s already dealing with enough, and that kind of encouragement from me, when I’m still so damaged, was unfair.
Because, if I can’t follow through with this mix of strange feelings I get when I’m around him, then how will I ever be able to live with myself if I have to hurt him? He’s already been through enough, and he’s so broken because of me. If I give him hope, and then snatch it away, I think it could very likely be the thing that just sends him over the edge.
And hurting him, hurts me.
So much.
But I’m confused, so damned confused.
I don’t know what I think or feel right now. I know last night was amazing, and he put together some little pieces in me that were floating around, desperate to find a place to call home. They found that place, in Slater, but it doesn’t take away the fact that I’m still missing memories, and that Slater and I are still strangers, as far as I remember.
When I woke this morning, I was alone, which I’m thankful for because I don’t know what I’m going to say to him. Should I just come right out and tell him how I feel? That would be the best option. The most honest option. But also, the scariest - because, if I’m being truthful with myself, I don’t actually know what I feel. All I know is I need to figure it out, and soon.
I get dressed and then walk out into the living area, and then through to the kitchen. Slater isn’t there when I get in, so I make myself a coffee and glance around. Perhaps he’s working, or at the club, or maybe he’s trying to avoid me, too. That would make sense. I imagine he’s probably equally as confused with everything as I am.
I take my coffee out to the back porch, my head aching from all the drinking we did, and stop when I see Slater standing out there with an attractive woman. She’s touching his arm, running her fingers up and down it, her long blond hair flowing down her back. He is saying something to her.