Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
And then, out of nowhere.
He smiles.
He smiles down at her.
A real smile.
A smile I haven’t seen.
Hell, I haven’t even seen him come close.
But he’s smiling at her.
And something inside me cracks. Something inside me just falls apart. It’s something I didn’t even know I had, it’s something I didn’t even know I felt. But there it is, slapping me in the face with its sudden onslaught. It’s an emotion I’m not familiar with, and I have to grip my chest to try and stop it. My skin prickles, my cheeks burn, and I feel tingly all over. But there’s also this lump in my throat, and my heart is racing.
Jealousy.
Is it jealousy?
I don’t know.
He reaches up and tucks her hair behind her ear, and she laughs softly. She’s so beautiful, and so...not damaged. She looks like sunshine, like she could light up any room. She’s perfect. And she’s making him smile. He looks at ease with her, like she could take away his pain. He doesn’t need me. That much is clear. I’m just a broken piece of his past that he needs to fix in order to move on.
Because the way he’s smiling at her, tells me, he obviously didn’t miss me as much as he says.
My heart shatters and I turn, catching his attention. He calls out my name, but I’m moving, quickly. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. I don’t know, hell, my mind is spinning in a way I can’t control. My body is spiraling, desperate for me to make it stop. Tears I didn’t even feel rising, burst forth and run down my cheeks as I make a quick dash for the front door.
I get out, launch down the front steps, and then I just run. I run with everything I have, as fast as I can, my mind completely spinning on me, making me want to vomit with its intensity. I can’t think straight. Hell, I don’t even know why I’m thinking this way, let alone how to control the disgusting mess of thoughts rushing through my head right now. I don’t even remember Slater, so why in the hell did seeing him smiling at another woman hurt so much?
Why does it even matter?
What the hell is wrong with me?
I hiccup, and disappear down a side alley, running down some back streets until I make it closer to a group of shops across the road from a park. I head straight towards the park, and its security. I need to find somewhere to try and calm myself down. To try and understand what the hell is going on in my head. To try and make sense of the mess that I’ve been dragging around with me for so long.
I hit the park, find a soft spot behind a tree, and drop to my knees, clutching my head in my hands, wishing my mind would stop spinning. I cry out, frustrated, and grip my hair. Why can’t I remember anything? Why am I feeling a certain way, and yet I don’t understand why? What is wrong with me? Damn everything that led me up to this point. Damn it all to hell. I wish it would all just go away.
I press my back against the tree, bring my knees up to my chest, and drop my head into it. And then I try, I try so damned hard to just breathe through it. I can do this. I’ve got this. Everything is okay. I tell myself this over and over, breathing as deeply as I can until the agonizing burn in my chest eases, and only then do I take a shaky breath and look up. I’m alone, but I know running out was a bad idea.
I know it was, and suddenly, I’m terrified.
I don’t have a phone, so I can’t call anyone.
But I can’t go back to Slater’s house.
I’ll go over to the shops over the road, and call Erin.
I stand and walk with shaky legs over to the closest café. I go inside and up to the counter. The young woman serving, takes one look at me, and her face falls. “Are you okay?”
I nod. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve lost my phone, and I don’t know how to get home from here. Am I able to call someone?”
She nods. Reaching over to a spot beside the counter and pulling out her cell phone. “Of course. Here.”
I take it, thanking her profusely, and dial the number for the bakery. Lucky for me, I know it, or I’d be in a world of trouble. Tatiana answers, and at the sound of my voice, passes me over to Erin right away.
“Ellie, what’s wrong?” Erin asks the moment she gets the phone.
“I ran out of Slater’s, I’ll tell you why later. I’m at a café. I need you to come and get me. Please.”