Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 97426 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97426 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Damn, I hope whatever it is I find out from my wife isn’t enough to make me walk. I’m not losing my son and I want to have more. If it were up to me, we’d fill this house.
I kiss my son’s forehead and he stirs in his sleep, turning onto his other side as he holds on to the teddy bear Leo gave him earlier. My brothers have taken to my son as easily as they’ve taken to me.
That means a hell of a lot to me. As I stare down at AJ, I have to ask myself, what’s enough for me to walk away from Lex, from this? Wouldn’t I be doing the one thing I loathe most?
I fell in love so hard with my wife in the beginning. In a life where I had so much pain and was raised not to show any of it, she was a breath of fresh air. I got to get the pain off my chest.
Now, as we try to move forward, she’s the one person I need to be vulnerable with once again. The words from that song come back to me. I chose Lex. There was something about her and the way she made me feel. She saw me before I allowed myself to open up to her.
“You have the power to burn me every time. I don’t know how not to love you,” I whisper to myself.
I turn to go back to my bedroom. Maybe tonight isn’t the night to have that talk. Tonight, I want to get lost in the Lex I once loved and trusted. Just for tonight because if I have to cut her loose, it’s going to put a hole in me I’m not going to recover from.
“Hey, there you are,” she sings as I enter the room to find her standing in a towel. “I’ll take the little bag. I need a few more minutes. You want to shower or wait for me to finish?”
“I’m going to shower.”
“Okay, leave the bag there then. I’ll be waiting.”
The smile on her face solidifies my decision. It’s the smile that captured me outside that courthouse. The one that stole my heart and made me forget everything for just a moment.
I head into the bathroom, lost in my thoughts. Moving through my shower, I return to the bedroom to find Lex on the bed. She’s perfection in a black satin nightgown.
Her skin glows and glistens as if she rubbed oil all over it. It’s not lost on me that she’s on her side of the bed as if she knows that’s the place I’ve been holding for her.
I hadn’t realized that until now. I’ve never brought anyone here. This has always been our place. That small part of my heart that waited for my mom, then waited for my dad, then waited for Will, and has been waiting for her as well—holding her place in hopes she did love me and would return.
I shake the thoughts away, feeling like I’m still that small boy. I once told Pit we’re too old to play around. I purse my lips. I’m not into playing games, so here goes nothing.
* * *
Alexis
When Ant steps from the bathroom, his thoughts are written all over his face. I want to ease his mind, but my gut tells me to be patient and allow him to process his own emotions first. Then, suddenly something flashes across his face.
He rips his towel away and steps forward with purpose in his eyes. Looking over his chiseled body, my chest starts to heave. Beads of water are still rolling down his skin.
I bite my lip as I watch him climb up the foot of the bed like a panther. It’s slow and deliberate, as if he’s giving me one last chance to run.
The power rolling off him charges the air. The play of his muscles as he moves makes my mouth water. By the time he’s nose to nose with me, I’m panting with anticipation.
It’s not lost on me that we’re going to make love in his home for the first time. A home that should have been mine a long time ago. This place is like our dream home, one of the reasons I couldn’t bear to finish the tour tonight.
I don’t think I was ever far from Ant’s mind, which hurts in ways I could never imagine. I wrap my arms around his neck as he breathes me in for a few moments before he captures my lips. The kiss is deep and demanding.
He groans and leans in until I fall back against the bed. This kiss isn’t like any of our others. This kiss takes something I don’t think he plans to give back.
If I’m honest, I don’t want it back. I want to bare myself to him in ways I never have before.