Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 114284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 571(@200wpm)___ 457(@250wpm)___ 381(@300wpm)
“Christ, it’s dizzying.”
Amen.
But my point was this. “Either way, maybe Lane doesn’t want to be so open if it’s you he’s with. He’s open with Macklin because that’s their thing.”
“Ah. Okay. I’m with you. Now let’s see if the coffee’s with us too.” He grunted and leaned forward, then got off the couch. “Would you be willing to share Macklin with anyone he’s interested in?”
I furrowed my brow. “I think the problem is I don’t want him to be interested in so many others.”
“Is he?”
“That’s what I’m unsure of.” I made the conscious decision right there to be brutally honest with Ty. I wasn’t going to hold anything back. “We haven’t landed from our reunion. Everything’s up in the air, and he’s tryna be there for Lane too.”
Insecurities were a heartbreaker all on their own. Most of the time, we worried about shit that was never going to happen.
So I continued. “Truth is, I don’t think he’s interested in many men. But I’m worrying ahead, you know. I’m thinkin’ down the line—how many will he meet and be like, hey, can I play with them?”
And I dreaded to admit that I wasn’t like Macklin in that regard.
I would never be as open as I feared he was.
Ty frowned to himself and checked on the water. “I reckon I’m the same in a way. All while—I mean, we gotta consider what we want too, yeah? Do I wanna be restricted to one partner? Do I want the freedom of being able to meet others? Would I even view that as freedom or is monogamy my idea of freedom?”
Yes, of course, we had to ask ourselves that.
“Have you found any answers?” I smirked wryly.
He huffed a laugh and shook his head. The water seemed to be done, and he poured it into two mugs and then added the coffee. “I like what Colt and Luke have with Kit,” he said after a beat’s silence. “River and Reese with Shay too, I guess.”
I hummed, thinking a bit further. I loved the notion of poly families, and I went with Lucian as an example since Ty had met them. “I like what Lucian and KC have with their two boys.”
Ty glanced over to me. “I didn’t even think of that. KC and Noa are a bit more open than the other two, aren’t they? They run their own thing as a couple aside from the foursome.”
Oh, I wouldn’t know. “I have some catching up to do. I know Lucian and KC very well—Cam too—but I’ve never been around them as a poly family.”
“As far as I know, they all live together as well, and I gotta be honest—I don’t think I could pull that off.” He returned with the coffee before aiming for the shelves next to the patio door. That was where he kept his scotch. “In theory, perhaps. In reality, not so much.”
I wasn’t sure I could either. I still felt that immense need to put Macklin and myself first. We had to be solid. We needed a place where the world revolved around us. Our own home.
It made perfect sense that Ty felt the same. He had his daughter to think about, and he’d made it clear in Florida that Marina wasn’t going anywhere. Because Lucas had asked what their living situation would look like once the baby was born, and to Ty, it had been obvious. He wanted Marina under his roof, much like Ty’s mom had taken in him and Savannah.
“One of the reasons I’ve gotten hooked on Lane is because he wants his shit as simple as possible,” Ty went on. “Whatever he’s worried about with his diagnosis—I couldn’t care less. Bring on the challenges. But mixing a bunch of people and complicating a relationship further…? I don’t know. That’s where I go back and forth. I mean, think of the real-life scenarios. Taking time off for a spontaneous weekend down south—yeah, sure, just gotta go ask my fourteen partners if they can get away from work. Oh, date night? With who? Do I pick that guy or that one? Who’s gonna get jealous? When is my head gonna explode? Am I spending enough time with all of them? Does anyone feel left out?”
I grinned and took a slow swig of my coffee.
Fuck me, even though it was the insta-mix type coffee, it tasted incredible. And since it was Ty, I bet he’d found some organic, unheard-of brand that could outshine all the mass-produced shit. I hadn’t recognized the label.
“I genuinely don’t understand how actual polyamorous people can handle multiple relationships.” He sat down next to me again with two glasses and one stunning bottle of Lagavulin. “I guess I’m not evolved enough to never be jealous.”
“I hear you.” I couldn’t agree more. It’d witnessed countless healthy poly dynamics over the years, but I continued to struggle to relate and fully understand. “I grew up in a house where nothing was mine—everything was ours—”