Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
When he didn’t elaborate, I did the math and read between the lines, even if I hated the sum of my calculations and speculations. “Matty’s not your son,” I whispered.
My dad shifted his gaze to me, and I didn’t want to feel his pain. He didn’t deserve my sympathy. Yet, I had a weak moment that stole some of the momentum I’d had when I entered the barn, ready to unload on him.
“Does Clyde know?”
“Yes.” He rubbed his temples. “But he had a wife and two-year-old daughter at the time, so he wasn’t interested in ruining his marriage.”
“Why are you telling me this? Do you expect me to think that you deserved to have an affair too? And why wait thirteen years to even the score?”
“I wasn’t planning on evening any score, but Clyde contacted her, asking to meet Matt. And I said no. She wasn’t happy, and that made me not trust her. So I followed her to one of Matt’s baseball practices, and Clyde was there, watching him practice from afar. She never introduced him to Matt, but she stood by his side the whole time. That sent me down a self-destructive path. And Danielle had worked for us for several summers, and she was always attentive. A girl with a crush on her boss.” He deflated with a resigned sigh. “When she turned eighteen, I thought, why not?”
I furrowed my brow. “Does Mom know?”
He shook his head.
“How did Sarah find out?”
“She didn’t.”
I shook my head. It made no sense.
He didn’t respond for a long moment. “Clyde was at Matt’s graduation, lurking in the back of the gymnasium as if he had the right to be there. And he wore this fucking fatherly pride expression. Your mom invited him. And again, I lost it. Do you want to despise me more than you already do?” he asked.
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. And I don’t despise you.”
“Well, you should.” He clenched his jaw like Matt had done, fighting his emotions.
The last time my dad cried in front of me was when Danielle Harvey told him she was pregnant with his baby. Why was he crying again?
He swallowed hard. “The Friday before the Fourth, we had champagne and orange juice, but she had mostly champagne. We were celebrating while sitting on the tailgate of my truck in the middle of nowhere, watching the sunrise. She got an entry-level job at a news station in Houston. And I thought it was good timing because I wanted to move on as well. Put the past behind me once and for all. Forgive your mother.
“I asked her if she was okay to drive, and she swore she was fine. She only had three miles to drive on roads that were pretty dead, especially that early in the morning.”
He looked at me, but I wasn’t following anything.
“You think Sarah knows about Danielle Harvey,” he said. “But she doesn’t. She knows I was having an affair with Brenda Swensen.” He broke down, pinching the bridge of his nose while he silently sobbed.
Jesus …
“W-what?”
Brenda killed Heather and Joanna because she was drunk.
She was drunk because she was fucking my dad, and they were celebrating the end of their affair and the beginning of her minimum-wage job at a newsroom.
He was right; I despised him.
“You need to buy me out of my share of the land, or it’s all going up for sale,” I said, harnessing every bit of control I could find because I wanted to end his miserable life.
“What’s going on?” Mom asked as soon as I opened the front door.
I removed my boots, keeping my head bowed. “You’ll have to elaborate.”
“Matt ran into the house, very upset. I tried to ask him what was wrong, and he told me to ask you.”
Lifting my head, I studied her. My parents were deeply flawed, and maybe I had every right to blame my indiscretions on them, but I was twenty-four. Blaming anyone else for my actions was cowardice.
“I took something he thought belonged to him. Don’t worry about it. You have enough on your plate.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Well I’m meeting Janet to help prepare food for after the service.” She slid her purse onto her shoulder. “You and Matt will ride with your dad to Joanna’s funeral.”
“I didn’t know Joanna.” I stepped past her toward the stairs.
“But Sarah did, and someday she’s going to be family. So, we need to be there for her.”
I closed my eyes just before heading up the stairs.
When the front door clicked shut behind my mom, I knocked on Matt’s door.
“Go away.”
I grabbed the key from the ledge of molding above the door and poked it into the lock.
“Fuck off,” Matt said, staring blankly at his ceiling, legs dangling off the end of the bed.