Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
The next morning, I went for a jog instead of reaching for a much-needed cigarette. By the time I returned, Sarah was dressed and packed.
“Where to next?” She grinned, eating a frosted toaster pastry on the bed.
I peeled off my shirt. “We’re getting Anakin and heading home.”
She stopped mid-chew as more crumbs fell onto the bed.
“I have to take care of a few things before we pack the rest of our belongings.”
“Then where are we going?”
“Someplace you can sing your heart out every night.” I stepped into the bathroom.
“Nashville?” Her voice jumped a full octave.
I grinned, turning on the shower.
“Are we going to live there?” she asked, standing in the doorway.
I tossed my shorts and briefs onto the floor and stepped into the shower. “If you want to.”
“Isaac! Oh my gosh! I can’t wait to tell Hea—”
I winced while washing my hair. Then I quickly soaped the rest of my body, rinsed, and dried off.
She was outside of our second-story room, resting her arms on the railing that overlooked the parking lot. I stepped into my jeans and opened the door.
Sarah sniffled, quickly wiping her eyes.
“Tell Eve. You said the two of you have gotten closer,” I said.
“I want to tell Heather,” she murmured in a weak voice. “I want to tell her how much I love you. I want to tell her I’ve been living my dream. I want to tell her about the bull that got loose at the last rodeo and scared everyone to death. I want to tell her about those tacos we had last week that were the best tacos I’ve ever had.”
Pulling her back to my chest, I dipped my head and kissed her neck. “I think you just did.”
“It’s so unfair.” She hugged my arms.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
WHITNEY HOUSTON, “SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU”
Sarah
Matt didn’t tell me.
I replayed our last exchange. What would I have said or done differently had I known about Violet’s affair? Was I a terrible person?
My friends were dead. I destroyed my boyfriend when he was on the precipice of having his whole world turned upside down. What made me special?
Why did I get to ride off into the sunset and live out my dreams?
“You’re awfully quiet,” Isaac said as we reached the outskirts of Devil’s Head.
“It’s just …” I shook my head.
“Just what?” He rested his hand on my leg.
I kept my gaze out the window. “This isn’t how I imagined things going. I didn’t think I’d have to choose between a man and my family. I didn’t think I’d break Matt’s heart. And I definitely didn’t imagine my selfishness leading to the loss of lives.”
“You weren’t driving that car. Brenda was.”
“No,” I whispered, “I wasn’t. But we would not have left our camping trip that early. I chose to go to Nashville with you. So …” I bowed my head and closed my eyes for a moment. “I went from being a people-pleaser to not caring about anyone but myself.”
“Stop.”
“It’s true.”
Isaac pulled over along the side of the road and put the truck in Park. “Do you regret going to Nashville? Is this my fault too?”
“No. Yes.” I shook my head a half dozen times. “It’s not that simple.”
“It is, Sarah. It’s that simple. You can’t live with regret over something that you can’t change.”
“Yes! I can.” I opened the door and hopped out, walking along the side of the road with my head bowed and my hands on my hips.
Isaac followed me. “Just stop.”
“What if this is my punishment?” I breathed faster, feeling on the verge of hyperventilating. “What if this is my lesson? Heather. Joanna. Matt. And now your dad is selling the land, which means my parents will have to move. How is this not my fault?” I stopped, pressing my hands to the side of my head. “I let you tempt me. I let you make me think nothing mattered more than what I wanted in life. If I just would have listened to my gut, everything wouldn’t have fallen apart. They’d be alive. Matt would not hate me, and he wouldn’t know about the affair. It’s all my fault.” I stared at Isaac with wide eyes drowning in tears as I covered my mouth with a sob.
He deflated, pinching the bridge of his nose as several cars sped by us. “You mean it’s my fault. Just fucking say it.” Blowing out a long breath, he looked at the sky for a brief moment. “Do you think I wanted to like my brother’s girlfriend? The pastor’s daughter? Do you think I did this for any other reason than I simply fell for you from the moment you smiled at me on Easter Sunday?” He shrugged. “Yeah. Maybe I’m selfish. Maybe after giving up everything for everyone else, I wanted something for myself. But fuck, baby”—his eyes reddened—“I want you.” He pressed his hand to his chest, clawing at it. “I feel it so damn deep in my heart nothing else matters. And if that’s selfish, then I’m guilty. If you need me to take the blame for everything that’s happened, I’ll bear the burden. I’ll take everything as long as that includes you.”